A Lesson In English
by InsaneShadowFan
Summary: Joey failing English, a shy student librarian, a trio of fangirls in pursuit of attractive duelists, and one makeup essay due by the end of the year all adds up to one thing: TOTAL AND COMPLETE CHAOS. R&R, C
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: Michelangelo Loved the Slackers**

_Date posted: June 2/ 07_

_**ISF: **__Long time no see, huh? I haven't had the spark to write a fic in a long time, so I made myself write this one, which I've had the idea for for some time now. Enjoy._

_Notes: The story is set in Japan, but will be sort of Americanized. Just to let you purists know. Also, the lowest passing grade in my area is a 70, so that's what I'm using in here._

o o o o o o o_  
_

_**History: D**_

_**Math: D-**_

_**Science: D+**_

_**PE: A+**_

_**Japanese: D **_

_**Home Economics: D-**_

All in all, thought Joey, as he packed up his belongings when the last school bell had rung and made his way through the crowded hallways, a very successful progress report…except of course, for that small little English grade at the bottom of the progress report.

_**English: F**_

_F. _

_F_. _**F's, F's, F's **_EVERYWHERE burning a big, stupid failure mark on his big, stupid failing forehead. Joey made sure to purge his anger by "accidentally" tripping a shrimpy underclassman into the girl's bathroom—the furious shrieks and terrified squealing were oddly therapeutic. Yes, amazingly, Joseph Wheeler did care about his grades, although the scholastic ambition fell short of "overachievement" and ended up somewhere around "glad I wrote gibberish for my last homework assignment five minutes before class and that the teacher only glanced at it briefly before marking that I did it".

Barely scraping by wasn't just _anything_ to Joey, who was now struggling to remember his locker combination; it was an _art form. _ Surely Michelangelo and the guy that painted cans of soup would really appreciate the time he took into barely scraping by. Joey mentally sighed and, after closing his locker and dusting cobwebs off of himself (it had been two months since he had last opened that thing, and he found with mild surprise that a forgotten ham sandwich was in fact capable of supporting life), made his way to room 206, his English teacher's classroom. Hopefully, his teacher would see eye to eye with someone who had such an unhealthy fascination with Campbell's.

o o o o o o o

"For the last time, Mr. Wheeler," said Mr. Walls irritably, "I can't just give you extra credit on your grade. You earned that grade, so take it."

"Funny," frowned Joey. "You weren't saying that when you made me wash your car first semester."

"Well-"

"-Or when I helped you move your furniture from your old classroom to this one."

"Hang on now-"

"-Or when I fixed your TV for you."

"Enough! Look," Mr. Walls said, straightening his glasses, "I'm starting to regret this anyway. People talk. If it gets back to the principal that I've been giving grades to students that don't deserve them, then I _will_ get fired."

There was a long silence before Joey opened his mouth and said, "You don't have any more things for me to do, do you?"

There was an even longer silence as Mr. Walls flustered for an answer.

"Well…no," he said. "The only thing I need to do right now is to get more milk and bread for my house—and I think I can afford to stop by the grocery store and get some myself, Mr. Wheeler," he finished coldly, for Joey was halfway out the door and counting the change in his pocket.

"So, I'm not going to pass for the year?" Joey said. "You only gave me the lowest grade to pass all year. If I fail this quarter, then that will bring my grade down to…."

"A sixty-two," said Mr. Walls. "Eight points below the pass and fail cutoff line. Oh, _please _don't start crying on me, Mr. Wheeler..."

"I wasn't crying!" Joey said fiercely. "You've got paper particles floating in here that are sticking to my eye!"

Silence.

"…Um, as I was saying…" Mr. Walls continued, "I can't _give_ you the pass grade, but I think I can manage something."

Joey pricked up his ears.

"There are three weeks left of school, which…"

Joey looked reasonably happy.

"…Gives you more than enough time to complete a four-page essay on the English book of your choice."

"WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

"Now, now, Mr. Wheeler, no need to act like that. I'm _serious_, Mr. Wheeler. Get out from under my desk IMMEDIATELY. You're only allowed to do that if there's a bomb threat!" He wrenched the trembling mass that was formerly known as Joey up to his feet. "I know that the essays are what you did worst on, but if you manage to write a passing essay, then I can give anyone who asks a reasonable excuse as to why I passed you for the year."

"Oh, God…." Joey moaned, his hands cradling his face. "I can't _do _those…please, Teacher, anything else, just not that….I'll even clean your house again like I did the year before."

"That is certainly not going to happen again, Mr. Wheeler," he said shortly. "I am not going to explain to my wife again why I tried to steam-clean the rugs in the shower. Good day. You have one week." He pushed Joey out of the class.

o o o o o o o

"…And I'll up that with three cookies," said Tristan, putting down his wager. He, Yugi, and Tea were playing poker in the Game Shop, and as Yugi's grandfather forbad the betting of actual money, they were forced to use the currency of Tristan's mother's excellent baking skills, Yugi's overly-large collection of potato chips in the shape of Duel Monster's heads, and anything found in Tea's backpack of a purse, with varying degrees of success for the last. Tristan rather liked the nice berry taste of the chap-stick he had won off of her last week, but his mother looked at him strangely when she found the rest of his prizes that day in his back pocket.

Tristan heard her and his father in their room that night discussing as to why their son would need tampons and a tube of mascara. It resulted in a breakfast speech the next morning that was very awkward for all of them.

But the pool seemed pretty good today. Yugi had just found a chip in the shape of a Hitotsume Giant that afternoon, so it wasn't stale yet, and Tea pulled out the big guns, a half-full box of crunchy granola bars crushed at the bottom of her backpack (those things weren't half bad, actually, he thought). He himself had those cookies and his uneaten chocolate bar from lunch at stake.

Just when he was realizing how sad he, Yugi, and Tea's lives were, he heard the bell on the store's door chime angrily (he could tell that whoever walked through it was in a bad mood) and Joey's furious voice say, "Four pages or I fail English!"

"Four pages?" Yugi repeated, putting down his hand (a straight of hearts) before gathering his winnings in a pile and opening a granola bar. "Mr. Walls wouldn't let you clean his house again?"

"No!" Joey said. "I don't know why…I didn't ruin _all_ of his rugs, and some of them were actually pretty clean after I squeezed the water out of them."

"You're not supposed to put them in a shower, Joey," sighed Tea. "You need a steam machine for that, I think, or a rug-cleaning company do them for you."

"As I was saying, before I was so _rudely_ interrupted by a know-it-all," said Joey, then dodging the purse that Tea threw (she had a lot of stuff in that thing—getting hit by it _hurt_), "Four whole pages! How am I going to do that in three weeks, huh?"

"It's actually just one and a half pages," Tristan said. "If it's in MLA format and double spaced. Not even that, actually. What?" he looked at his friends' surprised faces, "I'm in AP Engish, remember? Don't be fooled by the great hair, I've got the mind of a literary _master_."

"Gosh, I didn't know that," said Joey. "Could _you _help me with it, then?"

"Can't, I've got two projects that I need to make up for that class. Besides, I know you'll slack off and make _me _do all the work for you."

"How about you, Tea?" Joey turned around, looking desperate. Tea smiled sympathetically.

"I've got too many things to do before summer vacation, Joey."

"_Yugi_?" Joey looked like he would start bawling at any minute.

"I'm entering that Duelist Master's tournament in Kyoto. I'm leaving the day after tomorrow for two weeks."

"Aw, crap. Hey, wait a minute, why wasn't I asked to be in that?!"

"It's only for people who've won major Duelist tournaments. Not even Mai was allowed to come, and she's the top female duelist in the country."

"God." Joey collapsed onto the sofa, completely oblivious to the three people still sitting there. He ended up being pushed onto the floor, but got back up suddenly. "Hey, I could get Ribbon to help me! She's the student librarian, too!"

"Are you stupid, Joey?" Tristan said incredulously. "Ribbon transferred to a different school last semester!"

"Oh…no wonder she hasn't been sitting at our lunch table lately. I thought she was angry at you or something."

"Why would she be angry at me?"

"Probably because she asked me to tell you that she changed her mind about wanting to go out with you and I forgot about it."

"Why, you--!" Tristan made a leap towards Joey's neck, but was too late. Joey was already making his way to the school library (which was still open), a grim, final expression on his face.

He was making himself do something that he had not done in six years, and something that still made him want to vomit at the mere thought of it.

He was going to actually read a book.

o o o o o o o

_**ISF: **__Feel free to post constructive criticism on this. If I've made a mistake, I'd like to know. Reviews are always nice! Later._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

_Date posted: June 3/07 _

_**ISF:**__ Wow…I must say it's been a long time since I got my very first review on my first fanfiction. About two-and-a-half years ago, I believe. So, thank you SO much for the comment, __**crystal ice614**__. It's nice knowing that people like reading my stories, even though they're not exactly high-class literature (hehe). I dedicate this chapter to you, my dear. 3_

_**Notice: **__Any books or copyrighted paraphernalia mentioned in this story do not belong to me, and I am merely using them to make my story more realistic._

_o o o o o o o_

The way those books stood on that shelf, gazing at him with reproach, was maddening…

Sighing, Joey picked up _Of Mice and Men_ (it was the smallest book there), and flipped to a random page. His English was a little rusty, but he could make out most of what was being said.

_"So you forgot that awready, did you? I gotta tell you again, do I? Jesus Christ, you're a crazy bastard!"_

_"I forgot…I tried not to forget. Honest to God I did, George."_

_"O.K.—O.K. I'll tell ya again. I ain't got nothing to do. Might jus' as well spen' all my time tellin' you things and then you forget 'em, and I tell you again."_

Joey was _not_ liking this George character. He had half a mind to slam the book on the ground and yell, "I'll teach you something, George!" But that would end in him being escorted out from the library and hearing hushed whispers for the rest of the week about how Joey Wheeler was actually in the _library_, not looking for the dirty magazines that some kids claimed they've seen behind the Nonfiction section. And it would also leave him bookless—and reportless. He closed the book, rubbed his neck a little bit (it was sore from falling off of Yugi's couch the hour before), and made his way to the checkout desk. There was not anyone there.

No…wait, there _was _somebody there, hiding behind a book, but she was so small and the book was so large (one of those weird reference books with pictures in them) that, added in with the fact that she could blend in so well with the chair she was sitting in, Joey had thought that somebody had placed a very odd-looking statue behind the library counters. He had seen some pretty wacked-out fairy ornaments on his neighbor's patio before.

Joey cleared his throat. "Excuse me." The girl continued on with her reading. He tried again.

"Hello?" Still nothing. He leaned over the desk and took a big breath.

"HELLO! DEAF LADY WHO IS READING THE BIG BOOK, CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

The end result was the same as before. Joey stared in horror. Was…she dead? Not knowing whether to run or start shaking her and screaming for an ambulance, he did what he thought was a reasonable middle ground, which was to go around the desk and prod her gently on her shoulder.

This was not a very smart thing to do, you see, for Joey had the misfortune to not know, or rather, not notice the little wallflowers that seemed to be peppered throughout most schools with their noses always buried in books. No matter what sort of circumstances there were, the few friends of those "book-reading-people", as Joey put it, always had one rule put to memory, and always followed it, and that rule was, "If you do not want your finger getting bitten off, or your eardrums to explode, do not walk up to the wall-flowers while they are in the middle of reading and touch them in any way."

Wait for it….

_**"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"**_

Joey jumped back in surprise, or, rather, "tried to make a backwards leap onto the nearest bookshelf but missed, tripped over a nearby bookcart, and in the process nearly crapped his pants so badly that his lower instestines shot out of his backside". Thankfully, he managed to control his bowels, but his mind was a little distracted by the thick shower of books that rained down on him—thick, paperweight Harry Potter hardcovers. Wonderful.

"Oh, no..." the student librarian's voice was muffled by a copy of _The Order of The Phoenix_ pressed against Joey's ears. He tried to get up, but like all accidents in which the person that caused it tries to help out the victim, was pulled up by the girl just as she slipped on the cover of one of the books and fell down again, now in a tangle of books, reading glasses, and skirt fabric.

This was eerily similar to a dirty video he had once seen on an HBO channel late at night.

"Oh, please, I'm so sorry..." the librarian managed to untangle herself from Joey and leapt up, hurriedly smoothing down her skirt (she was wearing one of the longer skirts that the school provided: there were the short ones that Tea wore, which were the ones that Joey happened to like the most, the medium-length version that most of the girls wore, and the ones that stopped at the knee, the ones that everybody used to identify the nerds with uptight parents). She fixed her glasses, a dark flush spreading on her cheeks, and pushed aside the books to try and help Joey again. He swatted her hand away.

"I'm _fine_," he said irritably. The girl flinched a little.

"Please, I'm very sorry…" she started again, stuttering like a bad engine. "I…I don't hear very well when I'm reading…it's a bad habit, please forgive me, Mr. Wheeler…."

"How do you know my name?" Joey asked, surprised.

"You're…you're in my Home Economics class, Mr. Wheeler…"

"Oh…." God, she talked so _low_, thought Joey. He had to lean in just to hear what she said. Weirdly, he had never seen nor even noticed her in his Home Ec class before, but with the way she blended in so well with her chair just now, she probably was like a chameleon-ninja in that class…lurking in the darkest corner and playing with throwing stars. Oh wait, those were just the Goth kids that watched Naruto with their little brothers.

"I never noticed you in there, where do you sit?" he asked. Blushing even more, the librarian bowed her head in embarrassment, playing nervously with her blouse's ribbon.

"…Um…I…I sit right behind you, Mr. Wheeler."

_Oh._

"You don't have to call me 'Mr. Wheeler', you know," Joey said. He felt a little better, now that the paper cuts on his cheek had stopped stinging. The girl sort of reminded him of his sister…only, a whole lot thinner and frailer (he always made jokes about Serenity's chubbiness, and that usually ended with him going to the emergency room). Serenity also didn't have that…_desperate_ look in her eyes. "It's Joey."

"Y…yes, sir."

Joey blinked. The only time that he was ever called sir was when he had gotten arrested two year ago.

"Well…" He held up his book. "I was thinking about checking out this book for an essay I have to do."

"Oh?" The girl looked at the cover. "_Of Mice and Men_?" She cracked the faintest smile. "Was…was it...the smallest book there?"

Grinning a little, he nodded. So she had a little bit of humor. That was nice.

"Um…there was another copy in the English section, right?" The girl asked. "A paperback?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You…you should get that one…." She started muttering to herself a little, and Joey could barely catch what she said next. "_The paper used in these school copies is really poor…very prone to damage or tearing, and they have such an unappealing smell being opened after a long period of disuse…"_

A long, pregnant pause filled the silence between them.

"…Um…_okay…_"

Shaking his head a little, Joey shuffled back to the shelf and pulled out the other copy of the book, wondering to himself how he could have missed someone like that in one of his classes…he would have given them a swirlie or thrown paper balls at their head by now. "Here." He handed the book to the girl, who scanned it and made a mark in it, then returned it.

"Thanks, thanks a lot…" he glanced down at her chest, hoping to get her name from an I.D. Unfortunately, she wasn't wearing one.

"M…May…my name is May…."

"Oh, okay May, goodbye." He walked out, putting the book in his backpack. Had he turned around, Joey would have seen the girl whose name was May staring at him desperately, a hungry, empty look in her eyes.

o o o o o o o

"Hey, Joey." Tristan looked up from the poker table (an old crate that had once stored Duel Monsters cards), which were now in his favor. He was really looking forward to winning back his cookies…and that chip.

Joey had come back from the library. Sighing, he flopped onto the couch, once again ignoring the people already sitting there and _once again_ being pushed off onto the floor. Rather than getting up, he turned around and stared up at the ceiling.

His friends looked down at him. He was laying on their feet.

"What's wrong with you?" Tea asked. Joey shrugged.

"Just...had a really weird moment there." Scooting away from the couch, he reached into his bag and pulled out a book, flipping to the first page.

Tea stared at Joey. So did Tristan and Yugi.

They stared at each other as well.

Shrugging, they went back to the game.

o o o o o o o

_**ISF:**__ Whew. It's late and I really need to get to bed. Good, bad, bacon? Let me know, if you feel like it._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Why is She Crying?  
**

_Date posted: June 10/07  
_

_**ISF: **__Thanks again, Miss __**Crystal Ice614**__, and __**Chibi Mii **__(reference to the Wii characters?) for the comments. It's awfully nice of you. Lahk, roflcopterz. Mm-hm. (clears throat) Sorry about that, I take my chat speak a bit too far sometimes._ :( _WHOA, my Microsoft Word just converted my emoticon into an actual smiley face! Effin' nifty._

_So, I was thinking about changing the rating of this story to T, since it's a bit difficult to restrict the story to K+ material and right now it's sort of toeing the line (that HBO porno joke? Effin' priceless, probably one of my best jokes). Anyways, I'm really hoping for some more reviews! XD Not to be some sort of review whore, but it's so much nicer to know that people enjoy what I write, or are willing to give me some good crit. And it'd be awesome if I got a couple of flames, particularly from that __**Flame Rising**__ dude. He may be a butt-wipe, but he's a __funn__y butt-wipe. Not as clever of a troll as one particular person on Gaia online, but he is pretty amusing. So, if any of y'all know him, let him know that I'm ready for a burnin', okay? _

_**Note: **__There will be some book spoilers in this and most likely any chapters after this, just to let you know. Read at your own risk._

o o o o o o o

A week had past, and Joey was standing in the school's library, on a Tuesday morning, finished book in hand.

Luckily, May wasn't reading a book this time. She was typing on the Librarian's computer, and when she looked up from her computer and caught sight of Joey, her face turned red and she whipped off her reading glasses. A bit too quickly, actually, and since they were attached to a silver chain on her neck they swung back up and slapped her in the face. She managed to catch them and quickly regained what little composure she had.

"H…hello…Joey," she said quietly, directed more at the floor than the boy standing across the desk from her. He was mildly surprised that she didn't call him "sir" again. "Are…are you here to return the book?"

"Yeah," Joey said, almost as quietly.

There was a long, awkward silence. May began to fumble with her blouse ribbon again. Joey vaguely noticed how frayed they were at the ends.

"So," blurted Joey, "George really killed Lennie?" May looked taken aback.

"Well…yes." She frowned a little. "Um…well…it directly says so in the book, after all..."

"I know, I know," he said. "It's just…I don't know why he'd kill him like that. Maybe, I dunno…" He looked at the book's cover for inspiration. "Maybe he faked it or something, made it look like he killed Lennie to save him."

"Slim says to George that's the best thing for Lennie, to kill him. And throughout the whole book Lennie's death is foreshadowed."

"Really? Where?"

May put her glasses back on and continued with her work, face still red. "Well…um, there was when Candy said he should have killed his own dog, instead of letting Carlson kill it, and I guess that's kind of like how Lennie is…but…I don't know, m-maybe I'm wrong…or something…."

"Was Candy that one-handed old guy?" Joey asked. May nodded quickly. Joey stared at the book still in his hands. He felt…a little sad. It was just a book, but…why did Lennie have to _die?_ It wasn't his fault. Well…he did kill that puppy, and that girl.

What was wrong with him?

Silently, he pushed the book into the return slot.

"I don't think I want to do my report on this book anymore," he said to himself, but May heard him, and looked at him with surprised eyes.

She was probably staring at him because she thought it was funny, he thought furiously. Look at Joey Wheeler, getting sad over a _book_, where the characters weren't even real people. They were just words. Black, cheap, meaningless words on an ugly piece of paper.

"Um…um…" May stuttered, searching for the courage and the words that she needed. "You're…y-you're doing a book report?"

"Yeah. This is the only way for me to pass English." Joey felt more anger bubbling up inside of him, and, furious, he kicked the nearest bookcase to him. It swayed dangerously, before slowly tipping over and spilling books all over the place. One of the wooden shelves split with a resonating crack. "I can't do this!" Joey stomped toward the exit.

Why did he ever think that he could do this? He had flunked English all year, and suddenly he thought he could just magically write an award-winning essay or something? _Screw this, _he thought. _I'll just go to summer school._

He swung open the door, and was almost out of the library, before something pulled him back. He

Slowly, mechanically, he turned around. _Oh please…not that. Anything__ but that._

May was kneeling at the wreckage, slowly stacking the books up, hot tears streaming miserably down her burning face.

_Oh, crap. _He must have jinxed it

Sighing mentally, Joey walked back up to the broken bookcase and crouched uncertainly next to May, now sniffing as she picked the books off the floor.

"Um…." What was he supposed to _say_ in this situation? He remembered all of the awkward times in which he tried to cheer up Serenity when she was crying. It usually involved playful punching or tickling, but that often ended, like his teasing, with him going to the emergency room. Now that he thought about it, most of the memories with him and Serenity ended with him being injured in some way. So _that's_ why he always tried to stay on her good side.

"Um…um…." He stammered.

"I'm sorry," sniffled May, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "I…didn't mean to cry…."

"No, I'm sorry. It was my fault, I totally overreacted." Joey took the stack of books out of her hand and placed them neatly on the counter, then pulled May up. He hadn't expected for her to fall against his chest like a rag doll. They stared at each other, shocked, for a split second before May stumbled backwards, staring at the floor again and blushing harder than before. Hm. Her face was the same color as the cheap red wine his dad always had in the cupboard (or on the counter, or in his bed, or on the floor tipped over after he was passed out in the living room), and now that her eyes were puffy and swollen she sort of resembled a tomato with googly-eyes.

"Well…" he looked at the bookshelf, now a pile of splinters and kindling. He felt a little embarrassed at the way he had lost his temper. "Do I give the money to replace that to you, or the school or-"

"No, No!" May blurted out. "It's…it's okay! There are some extra ones in the back, you…you don't have to worry about it." As if she thought she had stepped outside her boundaries, May jolted a little and resumed her continual staring contest with the ground, but then looked up, as if she had a sudden idea. She opened her mouth, stopped herself, then opened it and closed it again. Joey had to coax it out of her.

"You want to ask me something?" May nodded sheepishly. "Well, what is it?"

"Do…do you…" she stammered. "…W-w-would you like me to help you with your report?"

"Oh! Well…yeah, sure." Joey smiled. _ Score!_ he thought gleefully to himself. "Okay, how's about tomorrow afternoon I stop by here? Or do you want me to come over to your house, or what?"

"No. I have to be here from 4 o'clock to 6, but no one ever comes in here after school, so we won't be bothered—Um…I mean…." She trailed off nervously. Joey didn't notice.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow, May. Oh wait, do you need me to help you pick up the shelf?"

"N…no…It's all right…."

"You sure? Okay then. Well…bye." He walked out of the library, feeling happier than he had been in weeks. He was going to pass. _Yes. No summer school for me after all!_

When the door shut behind Joey, May fell back against the counter and slid down, staring at the still-swinging door. Her hands moved shakily to where her heart must have been, and she placed them there, feeling how fast her heart was pumping.

"…He…he called me by my name again…" she mumbled, smiling a little. She felt her face and, realizing how hot and red it must have been, laughed a little nervously. "He's…he's coming back tomorrow…."

She got back up, ready to find a new bookshelf and put the books back in their respective positions. The work wouldn't do itself, after all.

o o o o o o o

_"…And so, the square root of a negative number is an imaginary number, and can be found on the vertical axis of a complex number plane…."_

"Hey," Tristan murmured, in Joey's ear. "Hey Joey, what's with you lately?"

Jolting, and wiping the bit of drool on the side of his mouth (for he had dozed off listening, or rather, ignoring the low melodic hum of the teacher's voice), the man in question looked to his partner in crime, sitting beside him and looking almost concerned.

"Huh?" Joey said sleepily. "What're you talking about?"

"I mean, you've been acting weird for a while," said Tristan. "You haven't been talking a lot, and you stare off in space. And Tea said she saw you reading during Study Hall. _ Reading. _A _book._"

"Yeah, so? I've got to do this book report to pass English." He yawned, putting his head on his arms and ready to fall back into sleep's comfy little arms, but Tristan began to poke at his side with a protractor.

"You're reading it? Dude, why aren't you reading the Cliffsnotes like you always do?"

"Um…because every time I did that I failed the tests, maybe?"

"Mr. Wheeler! Mr. Taylor! Do you have anything you want to say to the class?" the teacher glared at them, as if daring them to respond.

"Yeah, that you're a fat cow," muttered Tristan.

He was promptly rewarded with half of the contents of the teacher's trash can.

"Anyways, like I was saying before someone opened their big mouth, using an imaginary number for an equation…." Soon the teacher's voice faded into the background. Now Joey could get some sleep. He fluffed up his backpack and laid his head down—

"_Psst. _Don't fall asleep yet, Joey, I'm not down yet."

_"What?"_ Joey hissed.

"_Jeez_, don't have a cow. I just wanted to know if you got anyone to help you."

"That librarian girl who works after school."

"May?"

"Huh? How'd you know her name?"

"WHEELER! TAYLOR! BE QUIET!"

And so, the two were as silent as church mice for about five seconds, before cautiously continuing their conversation.

"I remember Ribbon talking to her a few months ago. She's that short, skinny girl? Really quiet with the reading glasses and braided hair?"

"Yeah." Joey glanced at the front of the room, making sure that the teacher hadn't heard them yet. "What else do you know about her?"

"I only met her once," Tristan whispered, "When I gave Ribbon a book I had borrowed from her. She was sitting next to her, and had stared at my feet the whole time. But I remember her asking me, _'Y…you're f-friends with Joseph Wheeler, right?' _Heheheh…._"_

"What?" Joey stared blankly at Tristan. "What're you laughing about?"

Tristan stared blankly right back at him. "…You're kidding. You haven't…noticed?"

"Noticed _what?_"

"JOEY! THAT IS IT! MOVE TO ANOTHER SEAT!"

Finally, thought Joey, settling himself down to a nice, refreshing nap.

_BRRRRRIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!_

Luckily the school bell drowned out Joey's scream of anguish.

o o o o o o o

_**ISF: **__Sorry about that rushed, silly ending, I really wanted to do more but it's late and I'm really tired right now. I'm also planning on re-activating Electromagnetic Crunch! A-WHOO HOO! There were a lot of things I wanted to say, but I sort of wrote myself into a dead-end…or so I thought. I fully plan on writing myself out of the hole, but don't keep your hopes up too high. The magic might not be there anymore. :(_

_Later!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Operation Meddlesome Intruder Takedown, Go!**

_**Date Posted: **__1/30/ 08_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!_

O O O O O

May was flipping through the pages of a book halfheartedly, while in the corner of the eye she watched the analog clock on the library wall as the seconds slowly ticked by. Click. Click. Click. Only three seconds, in what seemed like an absolute eternity.

She chewed anxiously on a piece of her hair for a few moments, trying in vain to absorb the words she kept on reading over and over again and still did not comprehend. Again, she took a quick side glance at the clock. Four more long, honey-slow seconds had passed. She suddenly realized how disgusting it would be if anybody saw her chewing on her hair and quickly spit it out.

Joey. Where was he?

It was 5:50, and he had promised her that he would be back today. He had _promised._ In a sense.

_"S…s…so…" May stuttered, trying desperately to ask Joey how his day was going, or how far along he had gotten in his book report. All day she had waited for him. Well, all of her library shift, that is, and an hour and forty-five minutes were an awful long time to be waiting for somebody to show up. It had been about a week since she had last seen Joey, which meant that he had to come back to the library to renew his book. And now, here he was, standing at the librarian's desk and fiddling with the free bookmarks, waiting patiently for May's shaking, fumbling hands to scan the book's barcode, stamp a due date inside it, and hand it back to him with a sweet smile and a "have a nice day!"_

_May tried to speak again, but all that came out was a stuttering, incomprehensible mess. Joey looked up from the bookmarks, a little confused. She felt a hot, brick red blush blooming across her face and burning her ears. Stupid, stupid, stupid, she thought to herself miserably, feeling mortified. _

_"Wait, wait. Hold on a sec, could you repeat that again? I wasn't paying attention," Joey said. That made May feel a little better. Maybe he didn't hear her at all._

_"I…I meant…" Her voice came out quiet and squeaky. May coughed a little, feeling the blush coming back. "What…what I meant to say was, a-are you done with your book report?"_

_"Um…well…no…." he looked away from May sheepishly._

_"Really?" May said, forgetting her embarrassment. From what she remembered, the book report was due next week. And from what she also remembered, Joey was by far good at writing any kind of English assignment. "How far have you gotten on it?"_

_Joey did not answer, and continued to look at the wall. May waited…. Joey looked at her quickly, then quickly reverted his eyes back to the wall with an almost hilarious stubbornness. And still, May waited, a little confused, wondering why he had not answered yet._

_"Fine!" He burst out. May jumped a little. _

_"I haven't even started it yet! I don't know what in God's name I'm supposed to write! Gah, I feel so stupid! Happy now?" He said._

_"Um…um…" She stuttered. "…No?"_

_The two shared a long, uncomfortable silence between each other. Joey continued fiddling with the bookmarks with on hand, his other hand shoved in his jacket pocket. "Are you done yet?" he said impatiently._

_May shook herself a little and pressed the stamp in the book. Now, he probably would not be back until two weeks from now…. May wondered if he would even be able to do his book report. She held out the book to Joey and he took it, but did not walk away. He remained there, his eyes_

_"How…h…how come you can't write it?" She asked quietly. Her voice was the only sound in the room, and it echoed, however quiet it was, a few times before fading away._

_"I…I dunno," Joey said, frowning a little bit. "Okay, so I finished the book and all, and I'm rereading it, but I just don't know what I'm supposed to say in my book report because I never really did one right. Either I never did one and took a zero, or I just wrote down a bunch of crap on the paper and hoped that the teacher wouldn't really care and just give me at least a passing grade just for doing it. And I've tried to start writing it, but I look at my blank sheet of paper and I can't even write out the first sentence."_

_"Y…yeah," May said. "S…sometimes, that happens to me too." She felt the blush creep towards the back of her neck, but she tried to ignore it, and rose her voice a little. "S-sometimes, a blank sheet of paper is kind of scary, I guess. But…but, once you get over the first paragraph, things get a lot easier. I..I guess, it's sort of like the first hill on a rollercoaster, it's always the biggest, and all…" _

_May felt her voice faltering, and she started mumbling, reaching for the ribbon on her blouse she always played with whenever she became nervous. The ends were frayed by all the times she had twisted it between her fingers and pulling out the threads. "But…but…I don't really know anything, I guess…." She trailed off lamely._

_"Are you in the same English class as Tristan?" Joey asked._

_"N…no. I'm in Advanced Placement, but I'm not in his class."_

_"Hm." Joey leaned unconsciously on the desk, bringing his body closer to May. May gulped a little, and tried to make herself breathe more smoothly and stop the rapid heartbeats that pumped so quickly, sending blood all through her arms and legs to leave them with a warm, tingling sensation. She could even smell the ivory soap he had washed with…and that brought…uncomfortable images flashing in her head…if Joey could see inside May's thoughts, she would quite possibly faint with embarrassment._

_"I know this is a lot to ask for…but could you…I mean, if you're not busy with stuff…" He leaned in even closer, looking like a hopeful little puppy whimpering for a treat, and May felt most of the blood rushing out of her head. She gripped the edge of the desk with one shaking hand, the knuckles quickly turning white. "…could ya help me with my book report?"_

_May felt ALL of the blood rushing out of her head._

_"Y...y…yes," she managed to gasp out._

_"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA!" Joey jumped nearly three feet, pumping his fist in the air. He threw his head back and let out a loud, gleeful "AWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" If May had not been trying to stay conscious, she would probably have laughed at how much he sounded like a dog._

_After a few minutes, Joey regained his composure. "So, when do you want to meet up?" He asked._

_"Um…um…" _

Come on, May…you can do this…

_"If you don't have anything to do tomorrow…we…we could meet up here, a-and, and…I don't know, go to Burger World and talk about the book there or something. M…my treat."_

_"Awriiiight! Help on my report _and _free food? Awesome!" He pick up his book and his backpack and made his way to the door. When he got there and had opened the door, already halfway through, he turned around and cracked a lopsided grin at May and waved goodbye. He left, and the door swung shut._

_May let out a long breath. "Whew…" She smiled a little to herself, a little proud at how brave she had been. She felt all of that blood rushing back to her head._

_The next thing she knew, she was lying down in the infirmary, with one of the janitors anxiously asking her if that ruffian with the blonde hair he had seen leaving had done anything to her._

"Yo, May!"

May jumped a little, looking up from her book. Joey's face was about five inches from her, and she stifled a scream.

Joey laughed. "Well, I guess that's a bit better than you yelling your chops off like last time." He flashed that goofy grin at May, and she felt her legs go wobbly. "You ready?"

"Um…um…yeah," May said, trying desperately to untangle her tongue. Joey always did this to her, made her lose control of her voice…but then again, so did pretty much everybody else. "The head librarian said it was alright for me to leave a little early today."

"Awright then, that's cool, let's go and get me some _food!_ I'm _staaaarving!_" Joey's energy made May giggle a little, and Joey faked anger before winking playfully and bounding towards the exit—perhaps it was the thought of food that gave him the energy, or maybe it was the realization that he was not alone in facing his worst academic nightmare—with May trailing him, quiet as a mouse, her pink cheeks and slight smile showing clear jubilation.

O O O O O

"So, whatcha wanna do now, Mayura?" asked a teenage girl, furiously popping the wad of gum in her mouth. She was wearing street clothes, but was in fact a student at Domino High School. Anybody looking at her would know what sort of crowd she hung out with, judging by her skimpy skirt, dark-orange tan, white-blonde dye job, and pale lipstick, which was in fact white concealer.

She, and two other girls were sitting in a booth at Burger World, nibbling daintily on their hamburgers to ensure that their makeup would not be disturbed. One of the girls had orange-red hair in many tiny braids and purple contacts, clashing horribly with her pink dress and white pleather boots. The other one, obviously Mayura, had long, blonde hair, perfectly dyed, cut, and styled to perfection. Unusual to the Japanese, she had naturally bright blue eyes, which she accentuated to the extreme by eyeliner, mascara, and golden eyeshadow. She was texting on her cellphone halfheartedly, spinning a lock of her hair in one hand. On her (revealing) shirt, a small button of a duel disk encircled by a heart was pinned.

"I don't want to do anything, all right?" she snapped at her comrade, who jumped a little, accidentally swallowing and choking on her gum. When she had managed to cough it back up, she resumed chewing it, looking quizzically at the queen bee. Mayura glared back at her, and the girl, whose name was Kyoko, averted her eyes to the ground. Mayura sighed and returned to texting, pouting.

"I just don't know what we're going to do," she sniffed dramatically. "Seto Kaiba has graduated early, Yugi Moto's off at a dueling tournament, and Duke Devlin's off in America hosting a national blackjack tournament…without our three hottest duelists, how will the Duel Monster Heartthrobs Organization survive?"

"Oh, come on now, Mayura," Hakura, the redhead said as she carefully checked her reflection in the window. "There are plenty of fish, handsome fish too, around at our school. Why do we always have to lust after the card-playing ones—" her question was stopped short by Mayura's fist hitting the table.

"Don't you people get it?" Mayura snapped at her cronies. "Who else has the talent, or the money, that we deserve? All of the boys at Domino High are totally and completely cute, but they're all going to take their exit exams, go off to their daddy's workplace, and become stupid, brainless salarymen. They'll never be good enough for us, so why should we settle for anything less than what we deserve?" Here, she look upwards, stars shining in her eyes as if she were looking at a golden god (or duelist).

"Celebrities don't stay in the spotlight forever. Old, rich men will drop dead right before they put us in their wills…but dueling, you see, dueling will keep a man in the spotlight forever as a gaming icon. We NEED them. And they NEED beautiful arm candy like us. So we have…"

The Burger World door swung open, and all three ganguro girls heads did a 360 swivel—their duelist senses had a thirty foot range—and saw a tall, scruffy blonde with a spectacled wallflower submissively following him. The two sat at a booth, and the blonde casually ordered two burgers, not noticing the three girls x-raying his dueling capabilities, wealth, status, and of course his "smexy" factor with the precision of a government intelligence database scanner.

"That's…Joey Wheeler, right?" said Hakura, quickly checking her makeup again.

"Yeah. I neva noticed, but…Joey does look kinda hot. Very ruffian-like," said Kyoko between gum smacks.

"Hm…once you get Yugi, Kaiba, and Devlin out of sight, you do start seeing the qualities in Joey," Mayura said slowly, looking the boy up and down. "He…recently won a local tournament, correct? The prize was 200,000 yen…."

"Hey, how'd you know that?" asked Kyoko. Mayura handed Kyoko a small booklet. Kyoko looked at the cover page with astonishment. It read, _"The Fangirl's Guide to the Sexiest Duelists in Japan, Fifth Edition"._

"So girls, I think we have a new target now, don't we?" smirked Mayura. "But wait…now what do we have here? Interference?"

"I know her. She's May Panthe." Hakura quickly dissolved into giggles, then came to her senses and checked to see what damage her foundation had sustained from her laughing. "But anyways, yeah, she's the student librarian that replaced Ribbon when she moved away."

"Hah! A librarian, trying to woo _our_ Joey?" Mayura said with mirth, completely forgetting that she hadn't bothered to include Joey Wheeler on the DMHO's bi-monthly list of the club's main duelists they were targeting—er, desiring, she meant to say. "But anyways, we just _can't_ allow a girl still with her natural hair color to take our man away from us, right, girls?"

"You got that right," affirmed Kyoko.

"Eh, okay, whatever you say." (Haruka didn't really care about duelists, and really only hung around the other two to swipe their makeup and money from their purses when they weren't looking.)

Mayura stood up and hastily ran her hands through her hair. "Right, right," she said. "It's time to get Operation Meddlesome Intruder Takedown back in order." She happily remembered how the three had destroyed the life of the last Meddlesome Intruder they had to deal with two weeks ago, then picked up her Louis Vutton purse and dug through it for lipstick. After reapplying and smacking her pouty lips, she started towards the door, saying to herself, "Huh, thought I had a bit more money in there than that…." Kyoko followed, looking for her missing mascara with a confused expression.

Haruka lurked behind them, whistling nervously.

O O O O O

_**ISF:**__ Yup, you got it. Joey's newest fangirls are a trio of ganguro girls, complete with white lipstick and Para Para cds. Thought it would add a lot to the humor to the plot._

_So anyways, please feel free to review and tell me what you think, I'd really love for you all to drop me a line or two of critique. Thanks for reading._

_**O!O ISF O!O**_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

**Einstein**

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_**Date Posted: April 15, 2008**_

_**ISF: **__Ooh, is it an update? I think so! The allure of that blonde ruffian Joey and meek little May were just too strong to resist. Come on, ya'll, you know you can't resist their love!_

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O O O O O

It was May's first time being in Burger World—Joey had nearly fainted when he found out that May had never eaten their Super Deluxe Supreme Triple-patty Hamburger (not that May would even want to, as a matter of fact), and promptly ushered her to the fast food restaurant. In fact, May was surprised that she even knew the place; she thought that she must have heard Joey talking about eating there with his friends. As soon as May walked in, trailing behind Joey timidly, as always, she was ambushed by the smells of grease, salt, sweat, and ketchup. So this is what American food smelled like. No wonder all of the Americans she knew were so fat.

But now, in the booth that Joey said he always sat at, May was anxiously watching the Bleach Bunny Trio, as she secretly called the three Ganguro Duel Monster-obssessed girls, as Kyoko and Mayura stared back at her, glaring. May saw Haruka behind the other two taking money from Mayura's purse.

But of course Joey, his back turned away from the Duel Monster Heartthrobs Organization, did not notice the girls making slashing motions in the air towards May, and even if he was at an angle where he could see them by looking up he was so concentrated on slathering his burger in ketchup and relish that it would not matter. So May focused on her food and tried to ignore the death rays directed at her. Looking up at the menu over the counter, she had not known what to get, so Joey picked out a Classic Burgerworld Meal for her. It looked…disgusting to May. The fries were greasy and fried to a yellow-brown crisp and next to them was a cup of vinegar. Vinegar…what was she supposed to do with that? Pour it over her fries or something? But the burger, sitting lazily on its wax paper, was the worst. It was dripping fat and mayonnaise and tomato juice, not to mention that the slice of processed cheese on the patty looked like melted plastic and the iceberg lettuce drooped sadly, as if not wanting to spend the last few minutes of its miserable life on a heart attack waiting to happen.

"Whassa matter?" said Joey between bites of his burger. May looked up at him. He had his burger in both hands and was in the process of taking another bite. He looked cute when he wiped off the mayonnaise-and-ketchup-and-fat juice from his mouth with the back of his hand. May wished that he wouldn't, she would much rather have licked it off his lips—WHAAAAAAAAAT?!

But luckily Joey didn't notice her maroon cheeks.

"Why aren't you eating your burger?" he said, looking almost indignant but with a playful sound in his voice. "I don't take too kindly to girls that can't clean their plates properly." May tried to appease him by picking up a fry and nibbling a little on the end. It was too hot and she jerked it away, licking her burned lips.

"Oh come on, May, you gotta know how to eat fries properly, right? Here, I'll show you." He reached over and held her hand with the fry. It felt nice and good against May's. "Now, let's take it over to the vinegar…"

He carefully dipped the end of it down into the cup and swirled it.

"Now tap it on the edge of the cup so you won't get vinegar on you. Tea hates that, she says it makes her smell. When I told her that it didn't matter because she smelled anyway, she whipped me so bad I'm still pissing blood."

May laughed. Even though it was gross to be talking about bodily functions while eating.

"There you go, lesson one complete. Now you can try it."

Uh…May wasn't quite sure about that. She eyed the soggy, sour-smelling fry apprehensively.

"Aw, come on, May, you know you secretly want to."

So she did, popping it into her mouth and slowly chewing.

It was crispy on the outside, but hot and mealy on the inside. The tangy taste of salt, deep-fried potato, and vinegar spread through her mouth. It was nice, completely different from anything she had ever tasted. She saw Joey looking at her with a mock expression of fear on his face.

"Did you like the offering? Did I appease the angry god?"

That was what made Joey so fun. That was why May liked him. She liked the way he laughed loudly and threw paper balls at people, even if they hit her by accident because he never meant anything mean or hurtful. She liked the way he yawned in class and said that he wanted to play Duel Monsters without shame even during a test and got sent outside for disrupting class. She liked the way he joked with his friends and never took too many things seriously and never looked afraid or self conscious like she always did.

"I-It…it w-was…" Her stuttering came back. Crap, and she thought she had finally gotten over it. "…it was…good."

"AW YEAH! WE GOT A FAST FOOD CONVERT!" He pounded the table, upsetting May's drink. It fell and spilled its carbonated contents all over the rest of her food.

They sat in uncomfortable silence, not knowing what to do now.

"Um…oops. Sorry," Joey said. May forced the corners of her mouth into a smile, even though they were trembling from nervousness because she didn't know how to show him it wasn't really that big of a deal.

"It…it's fine…wasn't really that hungry anyways…"

"Wanna get some ice cream here?"

"But…you just ate a Super Deluxe Supreme Triple-patty hamburger three minutes ago!" It shouldn't have surprised May, though. She saw how much he ate at lunch.

Joey stood up to get to the counter when he did a double take. "Hey look, there's Yugi! And Tristan and Tea!" Instantly May's insides shriveled away. She knew that by helping Joey with his report it was eventually going to happen, but that didn't mean that she was looking forward to actually talking with his friends any more. She knew that Tea was nice, because she had always smiled at May and said hi to her in the hallways, but May didn't think that Tristan would even know she existed if he didn't have a crush on Ribbon. But Yugi was the one May was most terrified to talk to. It was one thing to have to have the whole sit-down with your crush's friends, that was bad enough as it was. But to actually be interrogated by a world champion duelist? May struggled to keep her bladder under control.

Of course, she knew Yugi since junior high, but…she had never talked to him before. And after he had gotten that puzzle he always wore, he changed. He became more confident, more outgoing. She was almost jealous of him for being able to talk without stuttering, but that feeling was shadowed by the…fear she had of him. She had heard stories in the hallways about how anybody that bullied Yugi and his friends or "intruded into his soul" was quickly punished by a darker side of Yugi. Sometimes when she sneaked looks at Joey playing Duel Monsters with him during Study Hall she could see that Yugi looked different. Darker and more confident, maybe even a little ruthless to a point. Instead of hunching over and being sweet little Yugi Moto, his back was straight and strong, with the same sort of pride that May saw in Seto Kaiba. Except that Yugi had never knocked May's books out of her hands then snarled at her to "Watch where you're going, cretin."

But it was too late to run now—they had entered the restaurant and were walking towards May and Joey.

"Hey, Joey! How's the study buddy?" Tea said sweetly. She turned to May and said, "Joey told us you were helping him on his report. That's really nice of you to do so!"

"T…thanks…" squeaked May. She began to feel her throat close up with terror.

"Yeah, we know May here's a genius, right?" Tristan said. "But I don't think Einstein himself could help Joey in school!"

"Aw, shaddup," growled Joey, throwing his burger wrapper at Tristan, who dodged it.

"Whoa there, buddy! Need some anger management?"

Yugi, Tristan, and Tea all began to sit down, and May scooted over to let Tea sit with her. Whew. At least it wasn't Yugi. He and Tristan sat next to Joey.

"So, you two lovely people get any work done yet?" said Tristan. May shook her head.

"N-not yet. B…but m-maybe I thought that we could start working on it tonight?"

"Aww, not tonight! You have to come and hang out with us for a while! Maybe you could come over to Yugi's with us?"

_To…Yugi's?_ May felt her face go white.

"Yes." Finally, Yugi had spoken. He looked at May and smiled innocently. "I think it would be nice if you came over. We could play Duel Monsters."

May could remember all too clearly the time that Yugi had dueled Kaiba at the Death-T tournament. She had seen it on television. Kaiba went into a coma for nearly a month after that incident, and he never seemed the same.

O O O O O

May was surprised at how normal the Kame Game Shop was, aside from the many dorky-looking role playing games and otakus strewn throughout the place. She had almost expected Yugi's home to house a number of psychological torture devices. And chains, looking at how much of it he wore. But it was a nice place.

It smelled like lemon cleaner, cardboard, and the nice smell of brand new, high quality book paper. Solomon had come out from the back room when they had arrived.

"Hello there, Yugi," he said kindly, nodding at his grandson's usual gang of friends. He noticed May. "Oh, so you have a new friend over?"

Yugi nodded. "Her name is May. She's going to be helping Joey with his book report."

"Oh, is that right? Well, you may be a genius, May," Solomon began to laugh, "But I don't think even Einstein himself could help Joey pass!"

Everybody except Joey looked at one another and then burst out into laughter, even May. Joey sulked and muttered death threats about "that old man…."

They all walked into the den where they hung out. Yugi slung his backpack onto the couch and pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket. Then he, Tea, Tristan, and Joey crowded around an empty, upside down crate, as if this were a longtime tradition that had become habit. May walked over to them and sat near them to watch the game.

O O O O O

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_**ISF: **__So how was this chapter? Good, I hope! But if there are any horrible mistakes in here, you need to leave a review and tell me. Hey, even if you don't find anything wrong, leave me a review and tell me to keep up the good work! A little bit of motivation from you may be the difference between a decent and a fantastic chapter quick in the uploading._

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_**!!FIN!!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Two "Devils" and a Valentine?**_

**Posted**: July 21, 2009

_**ISF:**__ UPDATE! Hooray! I'm so pleased that I finally wrote up this chapter, I'm ecstatic! I can't wait, because now, finally the plot is getting to be even more interesting! Thanks to __**Iona, Shabozz, Arana,**__**Doma Yuset, Ayu-chan, Cabbit, **__and __**DaAmazingMeepers**__ for reviewing Chapter Five. I'd normally take the time to reply individually to the reviewers here or at the end of the chapter, but the time between updates has been so long it's pretty much pointless. _

_But, anyways, time for Chapter Six of A Lesson in English!_

O o o o o

The duel had been going on for nearly thirty minutes. Yugi and Joey both had the same amount of life points left. 1500. The duel was fierce and as close to a war as May was likely to ever experience. Each and every turn in the duel had its own twists, turns, combinations, and chains. May had seen Duel Monsters occasionally on television, but the duel she was watching now was so intricate and complex, clearly because the two boys knew each other's dueling tactics so well. On top of that, they had altered the rules to allow a potentially infinite battle to take place, each boy shuffling their graveyards to reuse in the event that they ran out of cards mid-game.

"So how come you're back in town already, Yug?" Joey asked his friend, still focusing on his hand.

"Well, funny you should mention that, actually," Yugi said. As was usual during a duel, his voice was strangely deep and imperious. "As it turns out, the man who was hosting the tournament I went to had a vendetta against me and was attempting to duel me in order to gain my Millenium Puzzle."

"Oh, really? Not again!"

"Yes. He had actually sent quite a few people to the hospital and had stolen many cards from those people."

"No way! So, you must have managed to defeat him in a duel, right?"

"No. I decided to call the police instead. The tournament was cancelled and his trial will be in about three months."

"So, what's being a student librarian like?" Tea asked May, cheerful as always. May gulped and began furiously twisting at her blouse ribbon.

"It....it's okay, I suppose...." and with that, her words failed her. May cursed her social retardation. It had been a while since she had been in this room with so many people her age, leaving her social skills unsharpened and weak. Her stutter had begun taking over, as was usual, and she could tell tell by her burning cheeks that her face was beginning to redden again. She hated herself when this happened to her. May blinked tears away.

Tea glanced at May from the corner of her eye and gave her a kind smile, wrapping an arm around the girl. Tristan had the good tact to ignore the two, understanding May's anxiety due to being informed of it by Ribbon before her move. He shouted at Joey and Yugi. "Hurry up and make a move already, it's been three minutes here!"

"Oh, sorry about that," Yugi muttered, drawing a card and examining his hand, perhaps formulating an ingenious combination to wipe Joey off the floor with. May hoped not. She had seen the two dueling before during lunch before, occasionally sneaking peeks at the battle from behind an ever-present book, and had not once seen Joey win before. And yet Joey persevered, challenging his friend nearly every day during a free moment at school, much to the chagrin of Tea and Tristan. Yugi never seemed to mind, however. He loved games. May could see why, growing up at a game shop. It was a child's dream in the Kame Game Shop. She supposed that was one reason why Yugi still seemed so sweet and innocent. Well, when he wasn't messing with people's heads for "trampling on his soul" or whatnot.

"I sacrifice my Mystical Elf to bring Summoned Skull onto the field!" Yugi placed his monster onto the mat. May glanced at the art on the card and nearly fainted. The depictions on most Duel Monsters card were truly horrifying. Unaffected by the intimidating six-starred monster, Joey flipped over a card.

"Bottomless Trap Hole," he said happily. Yugi flipped over one of _his_ cards.

"Trap Jammer."

Smiling, Joey turned over one more card.

"Seven Tools of the Bandit!"

"Whoa," muttered Tristan. "He countered a counter!" But Yugi did not look upset in the least. In fact, he was grinning as broadly as Joey, even as he placed his Summoned Skull into the graveyard and placed two more trap cards on his side of the field.

They really seemed to be having fun. May quietly smiled to herself. The fun was infectious.

She had not ever really had friends. She was so timid and inverted that, even as a child, every time she was introduced to a new potential playmate, she froze up or began crying. It was kind of pathetic, really. Growing up without any friends. She was used to it, so it hadn't really bothered her. You cannot miss what you have never had, after all. But as she sat here, watching the two boys enjoy themselves with a simple children's card game, a strange feeling began to grow inside of her heart. Enjoyment, perhaps? It was an entirely different type of enjoyment May felt when reading a book or learning something interesting. It was a feeling one could only experience with others who were enjoying themselves as well.

"With Polymerization, I summon my Flame Swordsman!" Joey plopped the card onto the field in face-up attack position. The Flame Swordsman, as depicted in its art, had a determined look, judging by the way its jaw was set fiercely and its fiery sword was jutting out. The Swordsman looked incredibly stubborn…almost like Joey. That had to be why it was his favorite card. "And, since fusion monsters are special summons, I can still summon my Blue Flame Swordsman in defense mode!

_"And_, my Blue Flame Swordsman has a special ability. I can transfer its attack points to my Flame Swordsman, making its attack power 3600!"

Yugi's only card on the field was a Curse of Dragon, face-up attack mode. Its attack power was only 2000.

"I attack your dragon with my Flame Swordsman, making your life points go from 1500 to zero!" Joey waited, expecting Yugi to counter with something. He only smiled and nodded, conceding defeat.

"Oh my…." Tea looked astonished. As a matter of fact, Tristan did too. But Joey looked the most shocked of them all. May was clearly confused.

"What?" she asked. "What is the matter?"

"Joey's _never_ beaten Yugi before," said Tea.

"W-what? Not once?" said May.

"Never," Tristan said. "Well, there was this one time at Battle City, but it didn't really count."

"I…won?" Joey asked Yugi incredulously. Yugi nodded again, still smiling happily. "Really?" His cheeks were flushed with delight, and an odd sparkle glimmered in his chocolate-brown eyes.

"AWWWWWWW-RIGHT!" He jumped up from his chair and tackled May with a bone-crushing hug. "I can't believe this! I won, I won! You must be my lucky charm!" He snuggled his cheek against hers, causing May to have a rather odd reaction like she was having a slight seizure from shock, embarrassment, and...pleasure. All at the same time.

"Oh, Joey, don't kill her!" Tea laughed.

"Yeah, we don't want her to implode from euphoria," Tristan chuckled, low enough for only May to hear. She turned about four shades redder. Luckily for her, Joey, oblivious to nothing except the sheer joy of finally besting his friend in a duel, released May from his grip and began jumping up and down on the sofa, cheering at the top of his lungs and pumping his fists into the air victoriously.

"I beat Yugi, I beat Yugi…"

"Come on now, Joey, don't rub it in," Yugi said jokingly, laughing. He shared Joey's happiness. Joey stopped jumping and plopped himself down on the sofa's center seat.

"Now that I have the skills to beat Yugi, I'm sure I can finally teach that Kaiba a lesson!"

His friends were quick to jump in to attempt to dissuade him, assuring Joey that while he _probably, most likely _could be able to kick Kaiba's incredibly rich posterior around the block ten times or so, it was not in his best interests to act on the temptation. This was quite difficult to do, by the way, since Joey loved competition with nearly the same intensity as he hated the incredibly rich posterior of said aforementioned person.

"So, anyways, we should probably get to cleaning up," Yugi mentioned.

"Oh yeah, you're right!"

"Definitely, we need to get ready!"

"Ready? Ready for what?" May looked to Joey.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you about the party!"

"P-par-par-party?" she squeaked, evidently petrified out of her mind. Joey, opaque as always, took no notice of this and continued unperturbed.

"Well, it's not exactly a party or nothing, but more like our friends are coming back into town. Duke Devlin, do you know him? He's coming back from America today. Ryou Bakura's gonna be back too, he was getting some mental help from a psychiatrist in Tokyo, but let's keep that in the group, alright?" he winked at May, who was still trying to regain the ability to speak. "Oh yeah, and Mai's coming to visit!"

Oh.

My.

GOD.

_The blonde woman from Battle City!!!_

May's heart fell into her stomach with a nearly audible thud. She had kept up on the Battle City tournament through gossip shows and internet forums, having little interest in the actual dueling itself. She had kept up with it because she wanted desperately for Joey to win, even going so far as to pray for it at night (unsuccessfully, of course). The shows and forums had all made the same speculations that Mai Valentine, the beautiful…no, drop-dead _gorgeous_ duelist and Joey had a possible romantic connection to one another. May, naturally, had vehemently denied it to herself in her head, all while painstakingly researching into the matter via Duelist magazines, websites, and entertainment shows to make herself believe it.

So it was true. Of course, Joey had made no mention of whether or not they were together, but it didn't matter. Even if they weren't a couple, his eyes would only be on her, judging from the fond way he referred to the woman. And there was no way that she, mousy little librarian May, could possibly compare to somebody as absolutely stunning, talented, and ever-charming…Mai Valentine.

Struggling not to burst into tears, May miserably began helping the group prepare from the event that would take Joey's attention away from her forever.

o o o o o

_**ISF**__: Gasp! This is terrible! Mai is coming in for a visit? What a tangled web this has become! First the Duel Monsters Heartthrobs Organization, and now this? How will May survive the onslaught of all of them? Only one way to find out…_

_Leave a review and let me know what you think! _

_Comments and criticism are great for putting the fire in my heart to enable me to continue writing fanfics! Not that I'm trying to force you guys or anything…of course, shouldn't you just naturally want to leave a comment anyways? LOL! _

_You know, I'm surprised nobody had pointed out Yugi's sudden reappearance when he was supposed to be away. D'oh! I had totally forgotten about that until re-reading the fic to catch up on what I had forgotten in the long space of time between updates! Luckily, I think I managed a pretty amusing solution for that mistake on my part. Anyways, till next time, folks! _

_FIN_


	7. Chapter 7

**Ambrosia**

_posted: 8/03/09_

_**ISF: **__I'd like to specially thank Iona, TheElectricBoogaloo, DaAmazingMeepers, and scrambled-eggs-at-midnight (yummy...) for reviewing. I'd do reviewer comments but I'm rushing and going to the movies._

-

o o o o o

-

The carpet was vacuumed, the pillows fluffed, the tables cleaned, and the food was prepared. May helped the gang tidy up the den for their guests, who would soon be arriving. Everything was spotless. There were bowls of popcorn, pretzels, miniature candy bars, and what looked like tiny sausages smothered in a sauce that Tristan himself had made, with Joey assisting him (May wanted to sink through the floor when he asked her to taste one of his and Joey's wieners). May had even helped Tea and Yugi cut strips of colored construction paper to make paper chain decorations, and held the ladder as Yugi and Joey put up a banner reading "Welcome Back" on the doorway. Everything was nice without the appearance of having tried too hard to please. May thought to herself that Joey and his friends had perfected that art to a T. They were always friendly without being desperate, kind without being sycophantic, and always managed to have a good time without being rambunctious (May sneaked a glance at Joey and reconsidered that last one). Their group had the comfortable sort of feeling that only came with being a tight-knit circle that was still eager for new friends.

May would normally have given herself a congratulatory pat on the back for being so sociable, as this was the most human contact she had received in about two years, but she was too busy feeling like absolute crud. She was seated between Yugi and Tea, who were talking to one another over her head. She had shrunken so far into the couch cushions that Yugi's height was no detriment to this happening.

The bell attached to the game shop's entrance rang three times, quite loudly. Joey jumped up eagerly.

"That must be them!" he crowed, bounding for the other room too happily for May's liking.

"Wh-wha--? Wait--!" May spluttered out. Panicking, she ran after Joey before anybody else had even stood up, and, faster than an Olympic track star, dashed toward the main entrance. She stumbled on a rug, and fell past the sales counter, falling nose-first onto the cold linoleum floor.

"...Ow..." she cried weakly, trying not to cry at she looked up and found her face an inch away from jet black spike heels.

"Better be more careful next time, honey," a seductive voice said. May's gaze slowly travelled upward, seeing dainty, feminine ankles, beautiful tan legs that were perfectly smooth and looked incredibly soft and holy crap do these legs ever stop oh dear god this is what I am competing with do these stems come with an insurance policy how long will this go on oh finally it ends, a trendy miniskirt, a black belt with a smart metal buckle positioned just so, a corset-like top accentuating the Hollywood ideal hourglass measurements, an unadorned yet elegant neck, perfect pouty lips, thin nose, bedroom violet eyes framed by spidery lashes, and the most lovely, curly, glossy blonde hair that May had ever seen in real life to complete the overall look of a modern goddess.

Darn it. Darn it all.

Mai Valentine was a total babe.

The woman raised a perfectly arched eyebrow in mild amusement.

"That floor comfortable or something?" Mai said. Her voice had a husky undertone to it that May knew drove all men mad with desire. May leapt to her feet, blushing madly.

"N...no..." she had managed to squeak out. Her throat was contracting, and she found it hard to breathe looking at the formidable Wonder Woman in front of her, so she forced her gaze to the two other guests. A tall man of a wiry build with dazzling green eyes and ink black hair styled rather oddly—Duke Devlin. A very pale boy with long, snow-white hair, a softly rounded face, and soulful cocoa-brown eyes—Ryou Bakura. She knew both of them, of course, but had only actually spoken to Ryou, feeling that she and he were both cut from similar cloths. The only difference was that May was perhaps more mentally sound than him. Duke, being fairly wealthy, handsome, and suave was always in the middle of a circle of pretty girls that had a ten-foot radius during daylight hours, so he was unlikely to have ever noticed her.

She was right. Duke squinted at her, then asked confusedly, "Who are you?"

"Duke, don't be so rude," Ryou implored gently. He gave May a shy sort of smile. "Hello, May. How are you?"

"Fine, thank you," said May, not surprised at her sudden ability to speak without turning into a stammering mess of incoherence. It was fairly easy to talk politely to Bakura, even though it was usually only simple pleasantries composed of monosyllabic words.

"Joey." Mai addressed the boy simply, her face stoic, which somehow made her look all that more attractive. Joey had said nothing yet, still standing by the doorway, his eyes oddly bright, a thin trace of color on his cheeks. Mai gave chuckle that could only be described as positively ambrosial, her heels clicking smartly against the floor at she sauntered up to Joey, then gave him a light kiss on the cheek.

"You must be Joey, all right. Drooling as always."

Instantly, Joey broke out of the trance.

"Mai, you she-devil!" he hollered, looking both angry and pleased. Laughing, Mai lightly slapped the side of Joey's cheek.

"Oh, you know just what to say to flatter a woman, Joseph, it's a wonder why you're still a _virgin_." She put just enough stress on the last word.

"Whatever! You just wish you have some of this!" Joey began to flex his arm. He was quite well-built despite his thin frame. May looked at the muscles that had come from years of lifting weights, doing push-ups, and punching bags (or the faces of gang members) and swallowed, feeling a rush of heat spreading from the top of her head to her fingertips. Mai, however, gave them a casual glance and squeezed it once half-heartedly, saying "Oh, how cute," contemptuously, causing the whole gang save for Joey and May to erupt in laughter.

"We have some snacks prepared in the den," Yugi said, smiling brightly. "It's not very much, but help yourself."

"Oh, you know that I will, darling," Mai said, mussing up Yugi's hair and sauntering to the den like she owned the place. She took a chair by the coffee table set with snacks and sat down, legs crossed and like she was seated in a throne. Everybody had soon joined her.

May zoned out of the conversation that soon began. She heard the cheerful babbling and all the words, but took no part of it, sitting nervously to the side and slightly away from everybody else. She had no place in the conversation. They went on and on about the things they had all been through, and May, of course, was unable to contribute anything to the given subject. They all laughed and ate through the snacks, absorbed in their reminiscing about adventures past and duels long finished.

"...um...uh..." May's tiny voice was lost within the group's loud, happy voices. "I—I think I'll go get some more popcorn...." they took no notice of her. She picked up the empty bowl and made her way towards the kitchen. the chattering faded to a low, pleasant murmur. The lights in the kitchen were bright and gave off a false, cold happiness. She placed the bowl on the table and sat down, alone and staring at the floor.

May sat that way for a while, gaining her composure and trying only to think of calming, quiet, simple things. Warm blankets. Soft kittens. A nice fairytale. _Brown paper packages tied up with string.... _And then she began to hum that song in her head, her elbows on her knees, chin in her hands.

It was relaxing, being here in the kitchen. On the periphery of a party, but not directly involved. Only close enough that she could hear the sounds of it not too far off and feel some of the lighthearted laughter and cheer that emanated from the epicenter of the celebration to give her a small sense of calm and contentment. This was precisely where she belonged, and, she supposed, where she would always be. In the kitchen away from the festivity.

"I thought you were getting popcorn." May looked up and saw Mai Valentine walking in. She opened up the pantry and began riffling through the food. "You a new student or something?" She was talking to May, her head still in the pantry. It made it easier for May to talk.

"No. I've been at Domino High for a while now. I'm here because I'm helping Joey write a book report."

"Oh." Mai closed the pantry door, unwrapping a packet of popcorn to microwave. She still did not face May. "That's decent of you, hon. Joey's worst subject is English."

"Yeah, he...hey, how did you know that?" May asked, shocked. Laughing a little at May's reaction, Mai pressed the Power button on the microwave and went towards the refrigerator.

"We email. Sometimes we talk on the phone, too. But mostly it's just email correspondence. I haven't actually talked face-to-face with him in nearly a year. Yup." She got herself a cola, then pulled out a chair and sat down. May tried not to make eye contact with her. "Joey is a good guy. I need to find him a nice girl."

"_What_?" May's head did a 90-degree turn. Her eyes were like saucers. "I thought you two...."

"Darling," Mai chuckled, "I'm a little too old for him. He's eight years younger than me. What gave you that idea?"

"O...oh...." May went back to her staring contest with the floor. "I just thought...w...well...all of the magazines and websites said you two were...that you...."

"Oh, don't tell me you believe that absolute trash," Mai waved a hand in the air. "Why were you reading about Joey's supposed love life anyways? Got a crush on him?" She smirked knowingly.

"N..n.._no_!" May felt her face turn red as wine. _"W-w-what g-gave you th-that idea?"_

"Oh. No reason." Mai took a sip from her drink. Her nails were painted the same vivid color as the can of soda. "But I can see why you would like him. I mean, who wouldn't? You saw those muscles earlier. They were quite nice, in fact."

Silently, May agreed with her.

"And his hair is _such_ a nice color. That sandy hue. Wouldn't you agree?"

"I...I guess so...."

"I like the color of his eyes," mused Mai, tapping her nails on the side of her can of cola. "They look tough at first, but when you take a closer look at them, they have a soulful, honest sort of loyalty in them..."

"...I see what you mean..."

"...he has the eyes of someone who would fight as hard as he could to protect the people that he cared about."

"...That's what he's known for, I suppose...."

"Mm-hm," Mai nodded. There was a brief pause. "Of course..." she went on.

"He's so lazy! Don't you think so too?" Mai stared at the girl for agreement.

"...um...uh..."

"Yeah, hon, I _know," _She continued on, lost in her tirade. "He's always getting into scrapes! And he is so stubborn, too! What a hard-headed fool he is!"

"S-some people think that's a part of his charm..."

"Hah! Charm? As if!" Mai laughed. "He's absolutely unrefined! His shoes have a hole in them!"

"But that's because those shoes were really expensive and he won them in a challenge, he can't throw those away!" May squeaked like an indignant little mouse.

"His shirts that he wears to school are blue! Everybody else wears white ones!"

"All of his white shirts were dyed because he left a blue sock in the washing machine! He can't help that! And they don't look bad at all, they're just _shirts_—"

"He needs to comb his hair! That slob doesn't care about his appearance at all!"

"I _like _the way his hair is! It makes him look handsome!" May exploded. She realized a fraction of a second too late what she had said. Mai smiled mischievously.

"No more trying to hide it, dear. I _know_ you like him."

"I...you...th-th-there's...

"No lying, now!"

"...o...okay...." May hung her head shamefacedly.

"I knew it, I knew it!" Mai clapped her hands together. "How long have you liked him?"

"Since I first saw him" May covered her face with her hands.

"Go on, dear."

"I...it was the first day of the new semester. We were in Home Economics class. The teacher was about to close the door, and...Joey, he came in sliding through the teacher's legs underneath her skirt, the moment before the tardy bell rang. The whole class burst out into hysterics. For the next ten minutes, the teacher yelled and screamed at him until she was blue in the face, threatening him with detention or suspension. And Joey, he just stood there, smiling. Not in a mean way, just smiling happily because he had made it to class on time. He said 'sorry, teach. I was outta line. You can do whatever you need to do to me. Detention, suspension, whipping, you name it—' and then the teacher snapped at him to just sit down, but you could tell she was trying not to laugh, and when Joey walked to his seat, he passed me and looked right at me. He was still smiling, and his eyes were all crinkly, and he gave me a wink, sat down, fell asleep, and forgot who I was for the rest of the year." May stopped, gasping for air. She had said it all in one breath.

"That sounds just like him," Mai began to laugh. "And you've liked him ever since, huh?"

"Yes...I...I can't help it. I know he won't ever like me, but when I look at him, I—"

"Hang on a second there." Mai stopped her mid-sentence, frowning slightly. "What do you mean he'll never like you? Haven't you tried to get him to notice you yet?"

"W...well...not really." May hung her head. "It's not like I'm very pretty or talented or anything. I mean...look at _you!"_

"Oh, Joseph doesn't have any romantic feelings for _me_," insisted Mai. "I mean, of _course_ we flirt a little when we're around one another, but that's just what I _do._" She flashed her megawatt smile at May. "I'm too wild for the boy. You know he told me he likes sweet, quiet girls?"

"...He DOES?"

"Mm-hm." Mai drained her cola can and promenaded back to the den. She flipped her hair and gave May a backward wink. "And I think I feel up for a game of Matchmaker.

"W-w-w-w-w-w—" May sounded like a broken motor, glued to her spot fast and looking like a perfect replica of Edvard Munch's The Scream, hands glued to her cheeks and mouth agape in pure horror.

"Ohohoho! This is going to be fun!" Mai skipped away happily.

"W-w-w....wh...wh-wh-w-w-w-w...."

-

o o o o o

-

_**ISF: **__Yep, going to the movies. See you!_

_FIN_


	8. Chapter 8

**Seven Minutes in Hell**

_**ISF: **__Hooray, an update! And finally, there's going to be some juicy goodness in this and next chapter! Unfortunately, the story may be finished in a few more chapters if everything goes according to plan. Sniff...it's just grown up so fast! ...Well, relatively speaking, considering that there was that time where I wasn't updating for a while. Now that I think about it, Electromagnetic Crunch has been going for FOUR years. D: I know where I want to take it, but the problem is GETTING there...UGH. Well, that's motivating me, so I think that the next update I post on my stories will be for EC! Sorry, Human fans! Even though that's been, by far, the best experience of writing fan fictions I've had in a long time, it's best to get the old stuff out of the way so can bring in some new stuff. But anyways, Comment time!_

_o o o_

_**TheElectricBoogaloo: **__Girl, you have no idea how interesting it's going to get with Mai around. And, surprising, Duke as well! Not to spoil the ending of this chapter, but it has a cliff-hanger ending as well. :( Sorry! But I hope you enjoy it regardless. Like always, thanks for the review!_

_**DaAmazingMeepers: **__I saw Bruno. Biggest waste of money at the theater for me this year. Don't get me wrong, there were some laughs, but all of the funny parts were in the trailer, so I might as well have just stayed home and watched that over again for two hours and for free and have gotten the same enjoyment out of it. But I'm sure you don't want to hear me go off on a tirade, so here's your chapter, and thanks for dropping me a line!_

_**Egyptionkitty: **__Whoo, someone was busy reading and reviewing! Yeah, May's got that creepy stalker girl thing going on, doesn't she? Like the chick from SwimFan! Aah! I actually might have been inspired from one chapter out of Deathly Hallows (do you read the Harry Potter series?), where nine-year-old Snape is admiring Lily Potter from afar with a hungry look in his eyes. When you think about it, it IS a eerie sort of figure of speech, but I guess there's no way around trying to adequately describe the look in the eyes of an unrequited lover, that has and will forever have an insatiable need for the love of someone that barely knows the person exists. (...sniff)_

_I learned long ago, in the Writing forums at Gaia Online, that a lot of the times insulted authors will mistake rough critique for flames. I was once guilty of that in the past, and I guess it makes sense, having your hard work torn to bits, so in order to protect yourself you play a victim. But after a while of learning from my past mistakes, it became a joy to learn more about language and how to be better at it, so I actually like having harsh critique on my work because you just learn so many new things, like with that grammar thing you posted in How Do You Like Your Tea, Mr. Kaiba. True flames, where there's no comment on what's wrong with the work or what can be done to improve it, are actually funny to me, and I take it like an amusing joke. XD Because yelling by means of posting comments on the internet are __**serious business**__, LOL. But now I'm just going on and on, so I'll stop. Thanks for all the comments for each chapter, that must've taken some time._

-

o o o o o

-

"Hoo...WAH!"

"Man, I'm out again!" Joey groaned, sliding down in his chair. Everybody laughed at Joey, while Ryou pumped his fist in victory.

The whole group was playing a game that Ryou taught them all, called "Sensei". The point of the game was that everybody sat in a circle and began by choosing a "Sensei" with rock-paper-scissors. Then, every player would get into fighting stance (by holding one flat palm against their fist) and wait for the Sensei to make a move. There were four attacks: "rabbit" (holding up one's index fingers above one's head), "bear" (putting two claws in the air), "snake" (making a snake-like shape with one arm and holding the snake elbow in the other hand), and "dragon" (holding one's hands in a circular formation with one "dragon claw" nearly touching the crook of the other arm's elbow). The point of the game was to not have the same attack as the Sensei. The role of Sensei would go around the circle clockwise to every player still in the game. The last Sensei to defeat the remaining players would be the Ultimate Master.

It was quite an addicting game, and the group had been playing for an hour straight, including May. She got caught up in the excitement of the game, laughing alongside the others when one player picked the wrong attack, and grinning embarrassedly when she had won, breaking Ryou's winning streak and having the gang erupt in cheers just for her. Everybody had won about once or twice, except for Ryou, who was the undisputed master of the game and had won about ten times, and Joey, who had yet to win a single game. Every time he had faced off in the final or semi-final round against Ryou, he lost. They began to play one more game. Tea and Duke were eliminated first, then Mai, then Ryou, Yugi and May. The losing players playfully jeered at Joey and Tristan as they circled each other in mock combat.

"I'm warning you, Joey, you better back down before it's too late!" said Tristan. He then made a deep-throated growl and gnashed his teeth like a wildcat, much to everybody's amusement.

"Psh, whatever!" Joey smirked, letting out two consecutive barks that were so real-sounding, May looked around to see if there was an actual dog in the room. Huh. So that was why everybody compared him to a dog.

"Hoo..." Tristan was just about to attack. Joey tensed up, ready to throw up a sign. May quietly cheered for Joey.

"...WAH!" The two boys threw up their hands. Both were "Bear" attacks. Tristan was the winner. He jumped up in the air and made a rock n' roll sign. Joey swore, acting pissed off, but a sliver of a grin betrayed him. Sensei was definitely not Joey's forte. Everybody laughed and smiled...except for Mai. She put her hand to her mouth and made an audible yawn.

"Dears, while this has been fun, don't you think that we should play a more...adult game?" She said the last part of her sentence with a trace of a smile on her lips. Joey huffed.

"Says the woman who came to a party where everybody's eight years younger than her. Mid-life crisis much?"

"Oh, Joseph, you know exactly the right thing to say to a woman," Mai said airily, but her words laden with sarcasm. "I don't mean to say that we should all be in rocking chairs and playing chess, but why is it that none of you kids have any libido whatsoever?"

Ryou, who was in mid-sip from a drink, choked on the soda, his face redder than anyone had ever seen. May visibly seemed to shrink in size, thinking to herself that something was about to hit the fan and she was sure that whatever it was, it was not going to be pleasant.

Duke, on the other hand, was inwardly snickering. Unbeknownst to May, he had eavesdropped on the entire conversation between her and Mai, and after the latter woman had left May behind in the kitchen and caught Duke red-handed (or should one say, red-eared?) the two had quickly and skillfully concocted a master plan of getting the librarian and the ruffian together that very night.

"I agree completely, Mai," Duke said to the blonde woman, stretching leisurely in his seat and giving her a flirty wink. "I have the perfect game to play, actually."

"Oh really, Casanova?" Mai smiled and leaned forward sexily, her legs crossing in a most sensual way. "And just what game would that be?"

Duke's Cheshire smile widened. He had surprisingly sharp incisors that made him look like a vampire out of a romance novel. "What other game but Seven Minutes in Heaven?"

The group's reaction varied widely. Joey and Tea looked at one another, clearly confused. Yugi and Ryou, however, were more familiar with American party games and knew the exact premise of the game. They accidentally caught the other's eye and simultaneously looked away, blushing furiously. May shriveled up like a leaf sat aflame, metaphorically speaking, of course, and she was not quite sure what the game was about but was thinking to herself with sudden certainty that she always knew that Mai was mentally disturbed with a vendetta against her. Tristan did not know what the game was about, but looked at Yugi and Ryou's red faces, Mai and Duke's obvious conspiring, and May's enraged muttering to herself (_that girl doesn't realize how mentally abnormal she makes herself look to people_, Tristan thought amusedly_, but luckily she happened to fall for the most clueless guy in Japan) _and he got the general gist of what was happening, so he decided to help Mai and Duke make their plan fall into place.

"Sounds good to me," Tristan said cheerily. "But how do we play this game?"  
"It's simple, really," said Duke. "Two people are specially chosen to go into 'Heaven' accompanied by the other player for seven minutes. 'Heaven', of course...is where the two can do whatever they want with each other without anyone else's prying eyes on them."

Now Tea realized what the game what about. She looked to the floor, determined to avoid all eye contact whatsoever. Joey merely frowned.

"Hang on," he said. "There are only three girls here."

"Yeah? " Duke shrugged. "So?"

"So, look at how many guys there are here. There's you, me, Yugi, Ryou, and Tristan. We outnumber the girls by five to two. That ain't exactly fair for the girls, is it?"

Mai inconspicuously nudged Tea. She looked up at the blonde woman, flushed and still confused. Mai made a motion towards May and Joey, drawing a heart shape in the air along with other significant gestures between the two potential couple. Tea's eyes widened in surprise. She caught on to the shenanigans quickly.

"I don't see any problem, do you?" Tea cut in, speaking to Mai, who merely smiled and twisted a lock of hair around her finger.

"Not at all, hon, there's more choosing for us. What about you, May?"

"U-uh-uh-I-I...uh—"

"That's right, girl, of _course _you don't mind," Mai finished for the girl, patting her on the back. May was beginning to shake more than a broken washing machine. She looked like she was about to have a fit. Mai ignored it and turned back to Duke. "So, how exactly are we going to decide which two people get to go to Heaven?"

"Elementary, my dear Valentine." Duke pulled out two six-sided dice. They were made of a shiny black stone and had crystal hearts on each side in place of the usual dots. On one dice, the hearts were blue, while the other one had red hearts. They looked extravagantly expensive. "We'll give a number from one to six to every person in the room, two for each girl. Let's say that you, darling, will have five and six. A woman of your caliber deserves the highest numbers." He gave another coquettish wink at Mai. "And Tea has four and three. May can have one and two, I suppose," Duke finished carelessly. He then held up the blue dice. "Joey is one, I'm two, Yugi three, Ryou four, and Tristan five."

"Who's going to be number six?" Ryou asked, a hint of red still evident on his pale skin. Duke thought about it for a while.

"How about your grandpa, Yugi?"

_"What?" _Yugi burst out in horror. Joey and Tristan burst out as well...in laughter.

"Oh man, yes!" Joey said between laughs, clutching his sides. "I'd pay to see that, Duke! I bet that you wouldn't have the guts to bring him in here if his number came up! Solomon Moto being told that by his business competitor of all people!"

"Challenge accepted," Duke replied suavely, flicking back a strand of his silken, jet black hair that had fallen over his eyes. "But you have to promise that you'll play, and no changing your mind. You're not scared of physical contact with a girl, are you?"

"Heck no!" Joey said, clearly affronted at this clear attack on his manliness. "I accept!"

"Excellent, Joseph, excellent," Mai and Duke said at the same time, using nearly the same tone of voice. They looked at one another in surprise while the rest of the group chuckled at their Gemini likeness.

"Moving on, then..." Duke tossed the pair of dice in the air. They hit the tabletop and began to roll. Everybody leaned in expectedly. Duke sat back calmly, knowing already what numbers would roll.

Both dice stopped, landing both on one. Snake eyes.

Duke had used loaded dice.

"N...n..." May trembled terribly, her hands on her cheeks and her eyes brimming with tears. Joey noticed this and felt a rush of guilt.

"Don't worry, May, you don't have to go in if you don't want to," he said protectively.

"Like heck she won't," Duke, Mai, Tristan, and Tea all said in unison.

"Come on, May, it won't be so bad."

"Here, we can use this closet over here, it has enough space for two people."

"You guys, I don't think..."

"Oh, hush up, Bakura, you'll have your turn too." Ryou blushed at Mai's brazen comment.

"Come on, you two!"

"W...w...w-wait...please..."

"Hey, don't put us in here!"

"Have fun, guys, and good..._luck_!" The four co-conspirators had finally managed to shut the closet door despite Joey's fighting and the fact that May became stiff as a board, perhaps as an attempt at playing dead.

"Here, boys, grab that couch," Mai motioned to Duke, Tristan, Ryou, and Yugi as she and Tea struggled against Joey's banging on the door. The first two boys began moving the couch immediately, reluctantly helped by Ryou and Yugi, who both did not seem to want to partake in the activity but felt like they had no choice in the matter. After a moment, the closet door was safely barricaded by the sofa, a cabinet, and a card table, but by the thumping sounds that came from inside the closet Joey was still putting up a fight.

"Well, now that that's done..." Mai smoothed her hair and examined her nails, "Why don't we go to the bowling alley? I haven't played in ages."

"What?" Yugi was incredulous. "We're just going to leave them in there?"

"Well of course, dear!" Mai replied, winking. "Surely, you've noticed?"

"Noticed? Noticed what?" Yugi looked confused. Tristan patted the boy on the back.

"Don't worry, Yugi, we'll explain everything later. Come on, guys, the first game's on me."

And so, the part of the gang that was not trapped in a storage space trekked out of the den, chattering happily with one another. Ryou and Yugi gave one another uncertain glances, then looked nervously back at the closet. Joey was still trying to break out.

"Hey, let us outta here, you bastards!"

"Oh man, Joey is going to strangle us when he gets out..." Yugi whispered. Ryou shuddered.

"Are you guy coming or not?"

"I...think I'm going to go with them, Yugi. I don't want to be here if Joey manages to get out of there," Ryou said meekly. Realizing the implications of that possible situation, Yugi yelped, running after everybody and leaving May and Joey alone, the latter still pounding angrily against the door.

"I'm warning y'all—" _pound, pound!_ "—don't you even think about leaving us in here!" _Pound, pound!_ "Man, are they even still out there?" _Pound!_

o o o o o

"Ugh, I think they left us." Sighing, Joey slid down on the floor, wiping his brow. May had not bothered to try escaping. There was no point since the door was barricaded, and May was incapable of opening tightly screwed jars of pickles let alone escaping from a closet blocked by half the den furniture. Plus, there was the fact that her legs seemed to have become unusable.

"Hey, don't cry," Joey murmured, pushing away a strand of hair that had fallen out of May's braid. "You know that I wouldn't pull anything funny on you."

"I know," May whispered almost inaudibly. The two said nothing for quite some time, sitting uncomfortably in the long silence that ensued.

The closet was fairly large as far as closets went, but with two people inside of it there was not much room to move around, only enough to sit, stand up, and shift around a little. A few slivers of light shone from the top, side, and bottom cracks between the door and its frame, so May could distinguish Joey's form and just make out his facial features. His brown eyes shone despite the lack of light. It was a little stuffy in the enclosed space.

"I'm sorry about this whole thing." Joey was the first to break the awkward silence. "I dunno what my friends were thinking, doing this. It was a rotten trick of them to pull, but they're not mean, I swear it, usually they're good friends."

"It's alright. I know that they're not bad people." May found that it was getting easier to talk to people, or at least to Joey. It was because he was just so fun to talk to. He had a sort of personality that was easy-breezy, slangy, and unabashed save for only the stuffiest of occasions. Very few things could put him off-guard and if anything did, he could bounce back easily enough. "But, look on the bright side, Joey. I think that this gives us the time to...to...." It was then that her courage began to fail.

"To what?" Joey leaned in, getting used to May's quiet voice.

"To...to...study!"

"...Study?" He looked bewildered.

"I mean, today has been very fun, but we haven't have any time to go over your book report. The deadline's approaching, and it would be a good idea to go ahead and start planning at the least."

"Gah, you're right!" Joey gasped, hitting himself on the forehead. "We really should work on that. Good thinking, May!" He pulled out a set of keys. One of the key chains was a small LED flashlight. "I've got a pen but I don't have any paper...I'm sure that Gramps has a little somewhere in here, though...." Joey began to root through one of the boxes. It was full of broken pieces from board games and other knickknacks that had no place anywhere in the store. "Ah!" He pulled out a battered looking notebook that seemed to be an old one of Yugi's for school. Flipping to a blank page, he pushed the notebook and pen to May as he held his flashlight steady.

May picked up the pen uncertainly. She was not quite sure what it was Joey wanted her to do.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked him. Joey shrugged.

"I dunno. Tell me everything that I need to write an essay. The teacher said that it could be on any topic as long as it had something to do with the book that I read."

"Hm." May tapped the pen against the notebook. "Well, if you're familiar enough with Of Mice and Men, and you feel strongly about any certain issue that came up in the novella, then I guess that you could theoretically write about anything. You could write about, for example, John Steinbeck's opinion on the female gender and how it influenced the perspective from which the story is told, or how he felt that the Great Depression affected the plight of migratory workers on the west coast. Do you know how an argumentative essay is formatted?"

"...Could you repeat what you just said, but with half the syllables?"

May sighed. "Here, let me start from square one." With a few quick strokes, she had drawn a strange looking diagram on the paper. Joey looked at it. Starting from the top, there was an upside down triangle, three rectangles in the center, and another triangle on the bottom that was right side up. It sort of looked like a topsy-turvy sandwich.

"An argumentative essay is an essay that you write when you're trying to convince the reader about something," said May. Her tone of voice had changed completely. She spoke clearly and enunciated each syllable carefully, but Joey did not feel at all like he was being patronized. "You have to have a clear position on the matter so you can write effectively about it." She motioned towards the diagram. "This is what the essay should look like."

"Like what? A topsy-turvy sandwich?"

"No, Joey!" She laughed. It was the first time Joey had heard her laugh so sincerely. "Look at the top triangle. This is the introduction. See how it's upside down? That's because you start writing the essay using broad terms." May traced the flat base of the upside-down triangle with her finger. "It's like building a solid foundation for the essay. You can't just jump in and start arguing about your thesis—that's the sentence that tells the reader what your position on a matter is—because it'd be like some random person stopping you on the street and talking to you about their opinions for no reason. You would not expect it and it would just make you confused and angry. So, let's say that you wanted to argue that all dogs should get free bones."

"What...?"

"It's just an example, Joey. Just play along. So, anyway, let's say that that's what you think all dogs should have. Pretend that you're trying to convince a person on the street that they too should think all dogs need free bones. If you wanted to get on their good side, you won't just jump at them and tell them to believe what you believe. You would just...sidle up to them and drop a hint about animal welfare, and how animals shouldn't be neglected. Does that make sense to you?"

"Yeah...I think I get it. You just have to ease into it. You don't want to walk up to somebody with your dukes already up, that's just asking to get whipped."

"Yeah. Something like that. After talking about animal welfare, you might start mentioning how useful dogs are in society—you know, since there are seeing eye dogs, rescue dogs for natural disasters, and that they're man's best friend and what have you. And then—"

"—You would tell them how important it was to make sure that they had enough bones to eat."

"That's right, Joey," May smiled at him. "Are you sure you even need help with this essay? You seem to already know everything you need to know."

"Not really. I get what you need to do with the introduction now, I guess, but then what do the squares stand for?"

"That's the body of the essay. That's where you put all the arguing in."

"Oh." Joey put his chin in his hand. "Why are there three?"

"That's for each point you want to make. They should each have their own paragraph."

"Why?"

"Because...well, I guess because it'd just be weird to just have one really long paragraph without any stops or breaks. People don't like reading really, really long paragraphs." May made a lot of sense, Joey thought to himself. Maybe that was why he always fell asleep when they were reading The Scarlet Letter in English class. Nathaniel Hawthorne or whatever his name was went on for _hours._

May continued explaining things about essay writing. She talked about how the thesis statement should be the very last sentence of the introductory paragraph, and that the thesis should be rephrased at the beginning of the conclusion paragraph. According to May, argumentative essays should also consider and explain differing points of view, but instead of outright stating how the views were wrong should instead talk about how such views were outdated or misinformed.

The two lost track of time discussing essay writing. Joey learned more from May than he did in twelve years of compulsory education. It was just something about the way that she explained everything that just clicked in his head. Maybe it was the way that she took the time to draw out diagrams, or that she explained everything so carefully, or merely the fact that he had her all to himself rather than having to share her with thirty other students. May helped Joey make an outline for his essay, and showed him the importance of proper transition verbs when beginning new paragraphs. Strangely enough...Joey found some sort of satisfaction in learning these things. It was almost exhilarating, like he had climbed on the top of Mount Fuji.

"Hm...so this outline will help me write the essay?" Joey flipped through the notebook. Every page of the outline had May's tiny, neat cursive and Joey's sloppy writing, even in the margins. He checked his watch. "What the...we've been in here for two hours!" He began pounding again on the door in rage. "Where the heck did they go?"

o o o o o

_"Strike!" _Tristan cheered for the fourth time in a row, leaping in the air in success. He was wiping the floor with Duke, who just so happened to be sitting at the booth with the rest of the gang, drinking a Slurpee and rolling his eyes every time Tristan bowled a better score than him.

"So, Joey and May, huh?" Tea said conversationally as she dipped a nacho in melted cheese.

"Mm-hm." Mai was catching the eye of an elderly man, flipping her hair and blowing kisses at him, much to the man's delight. He was knocked out of the love spell rather horribly with a purse to the face—his wife's. "I just absolutely _love _meddling in other people's love lives, don't you, dear?"

Yugi sat meekly between the two women, drinking from a soda that was bigger than his head, which was to say a lot, considering the sheer volume of his hair.

"I figured that May liked Joey some time ago," Ryou said quietly, "and she's a nice girl, so I'm not opposed to putting the two together, but what if Joey doesn't like her?"

"Oh, Ryou, Ryou_, Ryou_," Mai said with a voice that sounded like a mother talking to her five-year-old son. "Don't you think I know Joseph well enough to know whether or not he likes somebody? It's so obvious that he does."

"...Really?"

"Absolutely! It's just that he doesn't _know _it yet. She has everything that Joey needs in a woman! Loyalty, intelligence, sweetness, a gentle nature to persuade him from doing any of his stupid "Joey" things that he is wont to do, and I can tell that beneath those clothes and her braids, she's quite the fetching girl."

"Gentle and sweet? That doesn't sound like the kind of girl that Joey likes...you know, he liked you for quite some time, and according to Tristan he had a bit of a crush on Tea back in the day because she was so bold and independent."

"Wha-?! Really?!" Yugi spluttered on his drink. Tea turned five shades redder. "Is this true, Tristan?!" Yugi yelled at him, but Tristan was too busy beating the tar out of Duke in bowling to notice anything.

"Yeah, yeah, so Joey is attracted to strong, gorgeous women, what man isn't?" Mai batted aside this minor obstacle with a hand wave. "But Joey doesn't understand himself well enough to know that May is just the right type of girl for him! Imagine when Joey does something absolutely stupid. Could you imagine how his girlfriend would reel him back in if, say, he were with me or Tea?"

Slowly, realization and pure horror dawned on Ryou and Yugi's faces.

"Oh my God...."

"You know it, boys," Mai nodded grimly. "There would be a crater with a twenty mile radius where Domino City once was. If Joey was with a girl like me, the two would tear each other to pieces. He needs somebody much more subtle...softer, if you will. More persuasive and appealing to his animalistic side."

"That makes sense," Tea concurred. She checked the time on her cell phone and jumped a little. "Uh-oh, we've been out for so long now. We'd better get going back to the two and let them out."

"Oh, don't _worry _about it, girl. It's not like they're going anywhere. Besides, what's the worst that could happen...?" Her eyes widened. They all looked at one another nervously.

"Erm, I think I'm going to go get Duke and Tristan and we'll get going, shall we?"

"...Yeah, good idea."

"Uh-huh, Joey gets cranky when he's not fed in a while."

o o o o o

**"LET ME OUTTA HERE!"** Joey roared like a wild animal, slamming his shoulder into the door repeatedly. May was only a little frightened; she knew how bad his temper was when he was hungry. She pulled two cinnamon candies out of her pocket.

"Here, Joey, chew on this." She gave him one and kept the other for herself, and the two of them went back to sitting in relative silence, only this time as they sucked on their candies.

"I can't believe they would do this to us_...I'm gonna rip their heads off!"_ Joey bit his candy a little too viciously. He fumed for a few more minutes before his wave of anger finally subsided and he collapsed against the wall, tired. "I'm really sorry about this, May. I know all of this wasn't what you expected. I can't believe my friends would pull something like this on someone they barely know."

"It's alright, Joey. Really. In fact, this was the best part of the whole night."

"Being trapped with me in a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven was the best part of your night?"

May quickly backpedaled. "I mean, not because of the game, oh gosh, no...it's because...well...."

"What?"

"It's because...I got to get to know you."

Joey looked at her in shocked silence, but quickly cleared his throat and regained his composure, looking away from her. He was glad for the lack of light not betraying his embarrassment. "Yeah...well...I guess we're getting to be good friends. I'm sure that you'll get to know more about everyone else in the gang, and—"

"Oh, Joey." She laughed softly. "You don't have to be nice. I know that this won't last."

"Won't last? What are you talking about?"

May looked down at her hands. "The only reason you started talking to me was because you needed help for your book report—and I don't mind that at all, honestly. I'm glad that this has finally given me the opportunity to spend time with you. But I know that after this school year is over, you'll go back to your friends and forget all about me and date some beautiful bombshell like Mai and I'll never get to talk to you again except for a few times when we run into each other. I'm not anybody, I'm a loser that spends her time in the school library that will only be able to look at you from afar, but I don't care, because that's better than nothing, at least it's _something--"_

"May, don't say that sort of stuff about yourself," Joey cut in harshly. He grabbed her by the shoulders and made her look up at him. "I won't just forget about you and go back to my friends, because you _are _my friend."

"...really?" May felt her throat tightening and a warm feeling filling up her heart.

"Yes, May. You're the sweetest person that I know. You're smart and helpful, and you're a nice girl—"

"A nice girl," May made a sound like a choked laugh. "Nice girls finish last."

"Not with me," said Joey. He gently brushed a strand of May's hair out of her face and wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Why are you always crying?" He said jokingly, but with no trace of a smile on his face. The air in the closet was warm, a little humid, and was filled with the smell of hot cinnamon candy. May felt Joey's warm breath on her skin. Their faces and bodies were only a few inches apart, and he could hear his heart beating in his ears just as quickly as hers was.

Throwing all reason, caution, and etiquette into the wind, Joey kissed May. It was the first kiss that May had ever had, but unaware to her it was also Joey's first kiss.

Interesting. May had thought that in the event that Joey actually kissed her, she would become so petrified with fear and lack of oxygen to her brain that she would have collapsed in an unconscious heap, but it was exactly the opposite of that, she thought to herself; she had never seen or experienced the world with such flawless clarity and perception. Everything in the universe suddenly just seem to make _sense_, every color that she could see in the dim lighting had a sparkling sheen that was almost but not quite like the very first time she wore glasses and saw the world as it really was, knife-like in its sharpness and beauty. She placed her hands on Joey's back as she leaned against the wall, fighting against the burning in her lungs that pleaded for a breath of air, just to keep their lips together for a second, just one second longer—

The two broke apart, chests heaving. Joey felt like his body temperature had shot up twenty degrees, so he awkwardly took off his jacket as he began to kiss May's jaw line, cheek, and neck. Her skin was incredibly soft, how was it possible that her skin so soft? It was mind-boggling but Joey did not ponder the question any further. He pulled May onto his lap so that they were at face level with one other.

Their movements were inexperienced, their kisses, uncertain and clumsy. But it was still a wonderful thing for the two to feel, kissing one another, experiencing physical attraction for the first time, breathing in near-unison, feeling the heat of each other through their clothes—

There was a crashing sound outside the closet, and an elderly man's voice swore. "Who moved all of my furniture? Yugi!"

-

o o o o o

-

_**ISF: **__Solomon Moto, you ruin everything! (rages) XD Just joking._

_Whew, I have to say, that bit at the end was surprisingly steamy! I'm really toeing the K+ line as far as sexuality is concerned, so that's really the only hot action Joey and May will be having for the fic. Yes, it's sad to say, but this story may very well end in only one or two more chapters. One if I decide to make the chapter pretty long and include the epilogue, two if I decide to split it up. The sudden romance seems a little rushed for my liking, but I've been thinking about this scene for some time and I felt that it just had to be, you know? So it stays! (laugh)_

_About the Sensei game at the beginning, that's an actual game me and my crew used to play at Speech and Debate Tournaments between rounds! That game is completely awesome. It's getting late and I'm tired, so I'm gonna leave it at that, but I'll see you guys next time._

_FIN_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine: Googley Eyed**

_updated: 12/18/09_

_**ISF: **__Well, this is it! The second to last chapter!_

_I wanna thank __**Egyptionkitty**__, __**Iona, DaAmazingMeepers, TheElectricBoogaloo, MissDomaYuset, **__and __**Scrambled-eggs-at-midnight **__(mm . . .) for reviewing. I'd do individual comments but I'm strapped for time, sorry. Enjoy the new chapter!_

o o o o o

Things had been incredibly awkward between Joey and May since the . . . closet incident at Yugi's place. After Solomon, tripping over overturned furniture and swearing like a sailor, had opened the closet door, only to find Joey and May sitting on opposite sides of the closet, with their clothes and hair messed up and blushing furiously, May stumbled out of the closet, gathered her things, and ran out of the building at light speed, before Joey could stop her or Solomon could question her. He looked at Joey with a raised eyebrow.

"Should I even bother to ask?" He said, tiredly. Joey readjusted his jacket and wiped his mouth with his sleeve, giving Solomon a silent head shake no.

So, Joey had spent the next week trying to communicate with May. He finished his essay five days early so he could devote all of his time to getting May to speak with him. Mr. Walls looked like the world was about to end when he was about to leave class and saw Joey with an essay a page over the required length, turning something in _early _for the first time in his life.

He would see her in the hallways walking to class, but every time he got near her and she notice him, she would duck and weave through the crowd of students, disappearing before Joey could say a word. At one point he had managed to corner her by the bathroom, but, despite having rehearsed what he had dozens of times in his head, his voice failed him, and he stared dumbly at May, who stared at his chest looking sad and scared and lost. Then the bell for class had rung and May slipped past him and ran to class, leaving Joey alone, suddenly able to articulate just what it was he wanted to say, but a moment too late.

His friends noticed his frustration.

"Why don't you try going to the library after school to see her?" Tea suggested kindly during lunch. Joey, for once, had left his food untouched, and was resting his head on his arms, making him look like he had succumbed to despair and desolation.

"She's not working there anymore. I asked the new student librarian," said Joey, his voice coming through the crook in his arms sounding muffled and miserable. "She's avoiding me."

"Now, that's not . . . well, okay, maybe it is a little true," said Tea.

"She hates me."

"Oh, she doesn't hate you, Joey," Yugi said reassuringly, patting his shoulder. "She's nervous and awkward and doesn't know what to do because this is all so new to her."

"Yeah, so she's trying to avoid you because she doesn't want to do something to mess things up. For her, she thinks it's better to have nothing happen between you two rather than be the one who ruins it," said Tristan sagely between gulps of his soda.

"She _hates _me," Joey repeated. "I was so stupid. I . . . I just threw myself at her like an idiot. I attacked her like she was a bacon and turkey BLT."

"Oh, Joey, stop that!" said Tea. "Stop comparing her to food! It's not like you took advantage of her. She had a crush on you."

Joey jerked his head up instantly.

"Really? She _does_?"

"Good Lord, Joey, are you that blind? Even while she was sucking face with you in the closet? She's liked you since the beginning of the semester," Tristan told him. Joey's eyes widened, his mind completely blown by this new tidbit of information.

"You mean . . ." he looked back and forth between his friends. "All this time, she . . ."

"Yeah."

"And so that was why she . . ."

"Yep."

"So she was really . . ."

"_Yes, _Joey."

"And then I . . . so she's avoiding me because she—"

"_YES!_" His friends all screamed in unison. The cafeteria silenced momentarily. Everybody's eyes were facing the gang. The group of friends, save for Joey, who was still trying to absorb all of this information, all squirmed in their seats uncomfortably.

"So, yeah . . ." Yugi began, clearing his throat. "I think it's safe to say that you still have a pretty good chance with May."

"You think?"

"Yeah, if you don't screw things over as usual," deadpanned Tristan. "So find her already and ask her out already! This suspense is killing me!" The three others stared at him incredulously. "What?" he said furiously. "I've been watching the girl moon over Joey all semester and Mister Oblivious over here not noticing anything. If I see her mournful, mushy googley eyes looking in his direction ever again, I swear I'm going to vomit. So hurry up and make your move, Joey!"

"Yeah," said Joey. He patted his hair down nervously and straighten his school jacket. He scanned the cafeteria for any sign of his heart's affection. "Should I just go up to her and kiss her, or—"

"_No_, Joey, not unless you want her to faint or slap you," said Tea. "What you need to do is find her, ask her to have a talk with you, and take her to a quiet spot."

Joey was nodding, eating it up. "Go on."

"Then when the two of you are alone, you hold her hand. Not too loose, not too tight. Look into her eyes and tell her."

". . . Tell her what?"

"Speak from your heart," she said. Joey looked like he was going to puke. "Oh, don't be like that. I know it's girly and mushy and alien territory for you, but you have to trust me. Until you tell her exactly how you feel, you two can never be together."

"I guess you're right," said Joey miserably. He puffed himself up, trying to get rid of his nerves. "How do I look?" He asked his friends.

"Good," nodded Yugi.

"Great," reaffirmed Tea.

"No worse than usual," shrugged Tristan.

"Tristan!" Yugi and Tea shouted at him.

"What?" He looked confused. "I was just being honest. Besides, May would take him even if he was covered in garbage, she likes him that much."

"Well, _that's _comforting," said Joey sarcastically. "Well, I guess I'm going to go around looking for her. See you guys."

"Good luck!" said Tea and Yugi in unison. When Joey had left the cafeteria, they turned to glare at Tristan. He was unaffected by their stink eyes.

Three tables away, Mayura, Kyoko, and Haruka were watching the scene unfold.

"Ooh, that just _gets me_," said Kyoko furiously, snapping her stick of pocky in two. "How can that nerdy brat possibly catch the eye of Joey? As if she looks better than us. As if she's smarter than us."

"Well . . . she probably is," said Haruka evenly. "I'm only a C+ student, and you two are in remedial classes."

"Shut up, Haruka! Whose side are you on anyway?" snapped Mayura. She leaned forwards, obliging the other two to do the same. "We have to get her out of way, or Joey's going to be out of our grasp. We're going to get her. We're going to get her _good. _ Here's what we're going to do . . ."

o o o o o

END


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